


BROTHERS IN BLOOD

by Slasherfem



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mirror Sex, Mirror Universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-12
Updated: 2019-07-12
Packaged: 2020-06-27 04:28:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 37,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19783258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Slasherfem/pseuds/Slasherfem
Summary: In the Mirror Universe, First Officer James T. Kirk is trapped in an abusive relationship with Captain Christopher Pike. With the help of the new Vulcan science officer Spock, he assassinates Pike and takes his place as captain. But will he be willing to pay the price for Spock’s assistance?





	BROTHERS IN BLOOD

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER: Paramount owns the rights to these Star Trek characters’ bodies, but not their souls. Those belong to us, the fans who love them. The following story is fan fiction based upon Star Trek canon; no profit is being made, no disrespect is intended to Kirk, Spock, or any of the other members of the original Star Trek series. 
> 
> This story is a prequel to the events depicted in the original series’ second season episode, “Mirror, Mirror”. In Part Four, it becomes a sequel.

PART ONE

Lieutenant Commander Montgomery Scott beamed back on board with the prisoner at 2350 hours. He held him firmly by one arm, the energized security cuffs sparkling around the prisoner’s wrists. As soon as they finished materializing on the transporter platform, Scott told the transportation officer wearily, “Okay, Mr. Kyle, notify Captain Pike that I’ve located Commander Kirk and we’re on our way to the captain’s cabin now.”

Yes, sir.” The handsome blond Australian looked sympathetically at the I.S.S. ENTERPRISE’s young first officer. When he didn’t return to the ship at 1800 hours this afternoon, Captain Pike had immediately seized half a dozen of the chief engineer’s best men and ordered Scott to beam down to Deneva, where he knew Kirk had family, and locate their missing first officer. Pike warned him that if he didn’t bring Kirk back by 2400 hours, the six hostages would die. Scott had no choice but to obey; one of the men was his young godson, fresh out of the Academy. It was typical of Captain Pike’s cruelty to include Scott’s godson among the hostages. It was also typical of him to send one of Kirk’s friends to find him.

As they stepped off the transporter platform, Kirk’s brave face slipped for an instant as he looked imploringly at Kyle. The transportation officer met his eyes and sadly shook his head. His look said, “I feel for you, but I can’t help you.” Kyle had once had the dubious privilege of being the captain’s favorite himself. He had been demoted from lieutenant commander to lieutenant after daring to ask for a transfer when the captain’s favor waned. Captain Pike didn’t take kindly to any of his crew abandoning ship, especially the ones he chose as lovers. Whether you were willing or unwilling (as Kyle had been) when he took you, once Pike had had you, nobody else ever could. Kirk had lasted longer than any of the others. He’d even been able to work his way up to first officer, by his own merit, not just via the captain’s bed, as so many envious rivals claimed. Pike trusted him with his life, once he saw how devoted Kirk was to duty as well as to him. The only problem was, whenever things started going wrong, the captain would use his young lover for a punching bag. That was why Kirk had tried to jump ship after ten years, the last two a living hell of physical and verbal abuse.

As Scott and Kirk passed him, Kyle’s heart went out to the first officer. Kirk’s brave face was back on and he looked straight ahead, neither asking for nor expecting mercy. But in the depths of his hazel eyes, Kyle could see fear lurking. He knew all too well what awaited him in the captain’s cabin. Kyle did too, and winced inwardly at the memory. No one on board with any sense envied Kirk his place in the captain’s bed. Only young fools like Chekov, who thought they could tame the captain’s fiery temper if he would only choose them. Kyle knew that it wasn’t compliance that pleased Christopher Pike in bed, but defiance. That was why Pike had tired of him so quickly. When Kyle quit resisting him after Pike raped him for the third time, the captain soon became bored and left him alone. But he still wouldn’t let him go. And he wouldn’t let Kirk go either. Not without a fight that Kirk was sure to lose.

As soon as they were out of Kyle’s sight, Kirk glanced furtively left and right. Seeing the ship’s corridors were deserted, he started trying to bargain with his old friend. “Scotty, there’s a million credits worth of gems hidden in my cabin,” he told him calmly. “Turn me loose and they’re yours.”

“Sorry, Jim, no can do.” Scott continued to lead him through the corridors with a firm grip on his left arm.

“Scotty, you and I can both jump ship with those gems. He won’t be able to touch either of us.”

“He’ll still be able to touch Davy, me godson. I promised his father I’d look after him. We’re blood brothers, Davy’s father and I. He saved me life once.”

“I saved your life too, Scotty. Dozens of times.”

“Aye, you’ve been a good friend to me, Jim. And I appreciate all that you’ve done for me, before and after becoming first officer. But I can’t risk Davy’s life.”

“You were willing to risk my nephew’s life down there on Deneva!” Kirk reminded him angrily.

“I didn’t really hurt the lad, Jim,” Scott assured him. “I just gave him a bit of a jolt with those same wee cuffs you have on, to loosen yer brother’s tongue.”

“Was it really necessary to hurt my family?” Kirk demanded, remembering his nephew Peter’s tear-stained face when Kirk had finally emerged from his hiding place in his older brother Sam’s office. The boy’s screams of pain, along with Sam’s hoarse pleas for mercy and Aurelan’s tearful cries, had been too much for him to bear. Doctor Kirk had at first denied all knowledge of his brother’s whereabouts, claiming Jim had only had lunch with them, then left, saying he wanted to do some shopping before he had to report back to the ship at 1800. When neither Mrs. Kirk nor the boy proved forthcoming, Scott had resorted to drastic measures. Grabbing twelve-year-old Peter and slapping the electronic cuffs on him, Scott had turned up the power so that Peter would get a painful shock whenever he moved; then he had shaken the boy by the scruff of the neck like a kitten, ignoring his screams as he continued questioning the parents.

It turned out the Kirks were hiding Jim until they could smuggle him onto an Earth-bound spaceliner later that evening. Doctor Kirk had been prepared to die to protect his only brother, but faced with the possible death of his only son, he’d been forced to give Jim up after the younger Kirk had emerged voluntarily from his hiding place. Scott had agreed not to mention the Kirk family’s involvement in his report to the captain, provided Jim accompany him without a fuss. After removing the cuffs from Peter’s wrists and lowering the power so that they’d only shock if the wearer made any sudden, violent moves, he’d transferred them to Jim’s wrists. But as he was leading Jim away, Sam had jumped him from behind, trying to get the key to the cuffs away from him. He’d put up a good fight, but he was a scientist, not a soldier. Eventually Scott had knocked him out, leaving his weeping wife and son to look after him while he dragged Jim away.

Now, as they approached the captain’s quarters, Kirk appealed to his friend one more time. “Scotty, please let me go. I’ll make it worth your while if you’ll just allow me to escape.”

“And what’ll I give me blood brother in return for his only son? I’m sorry, Jim, but if I don’t get you back to Pike in exactly-” Scott glanced at the silver chronometer on his left wrist. “Seven point eight minutes, he’ll kill me six lads, and Davy among ‘em.”

“Scotty, you know what he’ll do to me!” Kirk pleaded.

“Aye.” Scott’s bleak expression said he knew all too well what would happen to his friend once an enraged Captain Pike got his hands on him. “But I also know what he’ll do to Davy and the lads. I’m sorry, Jim, it breaks me heart to do this, but I gotta get you back to the captain. He insists upon handling yer discipline himself.”

Kirk’s heart sank. His bruises were still not completely healed from the last time Pike had disciplined him. Lately their sex life had gotten rougher and rougher too, even when Kirk hadn’t done anything to displease Pike. It was as if he couldn’t be satisfied until he was able to hurt Kirk in some way. The sight of Kirk bleeding or in tears always brought forth a flood of apologies and excuses: “I’m sorry, Jimmy, I didn’t mean to hurt you. I lost control--I was drunk--I forgot myself--you shouldn’t have spoken to me that way earlier on the bridge.” Anything to cover up how pleasing he found it to humiliate his young lover. What really sickened Kirk was the way that Pike would kiss his bruises afterwards and swear it would never happen again. And it would stop for a while, until things went wrong again and he needed somebody to take it out on.

Two of the captain’s personal bodyguards stood at attention on either side of the door to his cabin. They kept their faces carefully blank as Scott and Kirk approached, as if there was nothing unusual about the ship’s first officer being escorted in shackles by the chief engineer to the captain’s cabin at this time of night. They’d been on board long enough to see a steady stream of Pike’s lovers come and go. Male and female, willing and unwilling, they’d all gone in on their own two feet, but not all of them had come out that way. While they were still out of earshot, Kirk whispered desperately, “Scotty, can you at least unlock these cuffs? Give me a fighting chance!”

“No, Jim. He ordered me to leave ‘em on.” Scott replied sotto voce. “It seems he’s determined to make sure yer well disciplined.”

Kirk nearly lost his brave face when he heard that. But he got it back before it slipped and did not allow a trace of fear to show as Scott returned the guards’ clenched fist on breast salute and formally requested permission to enter.

“You can go on in, sirs. He’s expecting you,” the older of the two guards told them, politely taking no notice of the glowing cuffs around the first officer’s wrists. He pushed the doorlock button, the door whooshed aside, and Scott led Kirk into the lion’s den.

The cabin was dimly lit, but the captain wasn’t asleep. He was sitting at his desk with a fishbowl-sized brandy glass at his right hand, staring pointedly at the gold chronometer on his left wrist. “Exactly 2.4 minutes to midnight, Mr. Scott,” he announced without looking up. “Congratulations. I knew I could count on you to bring him in before the deadline.” There was no warmth in his smile as he looked up at them, nor in the piercing blue eyes that stared at them from his suntanned face, still handsome, but beginning to show his fifty years of corruption.

“Aye, sir. Mission accomplished,” Scott said as he led Kirk to the captain’s desk. “May I please have me lads back now?”

“All in good time, Mr. Scott. Why don’t you give me the key to those cuffs and leave Jimmy and me here alone together? We have so much to discuss.”

“But sir, you promised-” Scott started to protest.

“And I’ll keep my word, Mr. Scott. In my own time.” Pike didn’t raise his voice when he addressed him. He didn’t have to. They all knew who was in charge here. And if he wanted to hang on to his hostages a little longer while he dealt with his first officer, that was his privilege. “Now leave us. I have things to say to Jimmy that don’t need a witness.”

Scott swallowed hard. Kirk felt his grip tightening on his left arm as Scott imagined some of the things they would be “discussing” after he left. Chris had never beaten him in front of witnesses. He’d humiliated him with demeaning comments, question his judgments and call him “Jimmy” instead of Jim to show how little he regarded Kirk’s dignity, but so far he’d spared him the final indignity of striking him before fellow officers. Kirk wondered if it was to keep from finding out how many friends Kirk really had, who would be willing to rush to his defense. Treachery was a way of life in the Imperial Fleet of the Terran Empire, but no officer could get very far without a solid core of good friends to back him up during his rise to power. Of course there were some things your friends couldn’t do for you, no matter how devoted they were. Kirk was finding that out now.

“Aye, sir,” Scott said helplessly as he dug the key out of the gold sash at his waist. He handed the key to Pike without meeting his eyes.

Pike took it from him with another cold smile. “Thank you, Mr. Scott. You may go now.”

“Aye, sir.” Scott gave Kirk’s arm one more squeeze as he turned to go, a comforting squeeze that told him to hang in there. Kirk was grateful for his friend’s support, weak as it was. He knew Scotty was as helpless to defy Pike as he was. As the chief engineer left the captain’s cabin with leaden feet, Kirk heard him whisper, “I’m sorry, Jim.”

Kirk felt his eyes filling with tears. Poor brave Scotty, torn between duty and friendship. No wonder he preferred his precious engines to human company.

When Scott was gone, Kirk and Pike were left staring at each other like a couple of gladiators in the ring. Pike rose to his feet, set his drink aside and leaned forward, resting his big hands on his desk. “Why, Jimmy? Why did you leave me?” he asked, softly and sadly.

Kirk wasn’t fooled. He knew this was only the calm before the storm. “You know why,” he said curtly so Pike wouldn’t see how nervous he was. “Because you beat me up on Daedalus after I spared the old man, even though his son the governor paid a generous ransom for his safe return.”

“I gave you half,” Pike reminded him.

“Yeah, I know. Every time you beat me up, you always give me a present. Like I’m a kid and all you have to do is dangle a new toy in front of me and I’ll forget my bumps. I’m not a child, Chris!”

“No, Jimmy, but you’ll always be my baby. Mine to love, mine to protect, to reward, or to punish.” His voice changed, became as cold as his blue eyes. “I own you, Jimmy. Never forget that. You’re mine, and what’s mine is mine forever.”

“You don’t own me!” Kirk told him defiantly. A brief shock went through him as he clenched his fists in the electronic cuffs.

“Oh, yes I do!” Pike leaned a little closer to him, close enough for Kirk to smell the brandy on his breath. “I own you, mister, body and soul! I have the right to do whatever I want to you, including discipline you for your own good! You gave me that right ten years ago, when you gave yourself to me for the first time. I’m not going to give it up as long as we both live. You’re mine forever!”

“I don’t want to be yours forever!” Kirk shouted. “If getting beat up on a regular basis is the price of your love, then it’s too damn high! Let me go, Chris! Just let me transfer out of here and find yourself somebody more--compliant.” Kirk nearly choked on the word. He hadn’t minded submitting to Pike in the beginning, when he was still young and unsure of himself, looking for a strong leader to follow to glory. But now he was older and stronger, yearning for a command of his own, and he knew Pike would never share authority on the ENTERPRISE with him as a true equal, despite all the other presents he had showered on his young lover to atone for his increasingly frequent attacks of violence.

Pike shook his head at him, a lock of black hair falling into his eyes. He was smiling coldly again. “Now, Jimmy, you know I can’t let you do that. Out of all the lovers I’ve ever had, you’re the only one who still has the balls to stand up to me after all these years. If you didn’t have ‘em, you’d never have survived your first year on board. And that was before I ever laid a hand on you.” Kirk ground his teeth in impotent fury as his lover taunted him. “I like a man who knows his own mind, who doesn’t obey orders blindly and is willing to take risks. What I don’t like is when he openly defies my authority, even dares to question my orders, causing fellow crewmembers to doubt my authority as captain. Some of that bad attitude of yours is starting to spill over into our private life too. You’re not as respectful as you used to be. Nor as obedient. But that’s all going to change, isn’t it, Jimmy?” He came out from behind the desk slowly, clenching and unclenching his fists in anticipation, blue eyes gleaming sadistically as he looked forward to disciplining his wayward lover. “You’re going to do whatever I tell you from now on, right? No back talk, no questions, just pure unadulterated obedience and respect. Right, Jimmy?”

Kirk didn’t back up or flinch as Pike approached. “Don’t call me Jimmy!” he snapped. “If you want me to respect you, show me some respect! I’m not your child, you’re not my father, and you have no right to hit me!”

“Oh, yes I do, Jimmy boy! You keep forgetting that as captain, I have the right to discipline anybody under my command. That’s your problem, Jimmy, you keep forgetting who’s in charge here. You are under me, in more ways than one, and I’m going to see to it that you remember your place, no matter now many times I have to beat it into you.”

Kirk instinctively put up his hands to defend himself and got a jolt from the cuffs. Pike laughed at his pain. “That’s my Jimmy! Still a hot head. Still defiant. Still such a child, despite his years. That’s what I love about you, my poor, stupid baby, you never learn. In spite of all the lessons I’ve drummed into you, you never learn. That’s why you make it necessary for me to repeat the same lessons over and over again.” He grabbed him by the shoulders, pulled him into his arms and kissed him roughly.

Kirk was sickened by the smell and taste of the Saurian brandy Pike had been drinking steadily since his lover failed to return earlier today. He wrenched his mouth away and shoved Pike back against the desk. “Stop it!” he snarled as the handcuffs jolted him again, sparks appearing in his hazel eyes as well. “Leave me alone! You stink of brandy! You know I can’t stand to have sex with you when you’re drunk!”

“Now behave yourself, Jimmy boy,” Pike warned him. “Or I’ll have to get rough with you again. Be nice to me and I’ll be nice to you. If you’re real good, you won’t get the beating I’ve been saving up for you all day. You know you deserve it. You always do.”

“Fuck you!” Kirk told him savagely, knowing Pike wasn’t going to let him off that easily.

“That’s exactly what I want you to do, Jimmy. On the receiving end, of course.” Pike grabbed him again and forced another kiss on him, reaching behind him to grab his butt. He fondled the full, firm cheeks while he plundered Kirk’s mouth with his tongue, squeezing and stroking one end as he ravished the other orally. He fully intended to ravish him sexually as well. He always got so horny when he beat Jimmy up. Before he got to be such a smart ass, he used to be able to avoid a beating by acting humble and contrite enough to satisfy his captain’s need for dominance. A good blow job, administered on his knees, would have been enough to make Pike forget about beating him and just drag him to bed, where he’d fling him face down and fuck him like a pile driver until he exploded into his ass. But obviously it was going to be necessary to teach him another lesson about knowing his place on this ship.

“You must love these lessons as much as I do, Jimmy,” Pike said softly and lovingly as he squeezed Kirk’s butt. “Why else would you force me to keep repeating them over and over again?”

Kirk gave a strangled sob of rage as he struggled to break free. The electronic cuffs were beginning to drain his strength. He had to make a move before Pike beat him up again. So, bracing himself against the shock from the cuffs, Kirk shoved Pike up against the desk and jabbed his right knee into the older man’s groin as hard as he could.

As Pike clutched himself and howled in pain, Kirk made a run for it. Not for the cabin door; he wasn’t that stupid. He knew the guards would never let him go without the captain’s permission. He ran for the bathroom to lock himself inside until Chris calmed down. Maybe he’d find a way to remove these cuffs in there, too.

Instead of opening at his approach, the bathroom door remained closed. Kirk ran right into it. Frantically he drummed his fists against it, trying to jolt the mechanism that controlled the sensor-linked door. But it was no use. All he succeeded in doing was weakening himself even more from the repeated shocks the cuffs kept giving him with every violent move he made. He finally collapsed against the bathroom door, sliding down the smooth metallic surface to his knees, the palms of his manacled hands still pressed imploringly against the locked door. He didn’t even look up when he heard Pike come up behind him.

“Too bad, Jimmy,” came the captain’s mock sympathetic comment from right above his blond head. “Nice try, but as you can see, the bathroom door doesn’t open automatically anymore. I had your friend Scotty rig it to open only at my vocal command, after somebody tried to stab me in the shower. He must have seen too many old slasher movies. I hope he wasn’t a friend of yours. I’m afraid I had to kill him.”

Kirk didn’t say a word. He was too exhausted and in too much pain, and knew he’d soon be in even more pain. All he could do was pray that he’d lose consciousness quickly as Pike dragged him to the bed.

********

Commander Spock, the new Vulcan science officer, was so engrossed in his latest project that he didn’t finish his experiment until a little after midnight, long after his human colleagues had retired. His Vulcan bodyguard, Sardo, was smothering his yawns behind his hand as Spock finished recording the results in his computer while simultaneously downloading a copy of his report into a PADD for the captain.

 _*Surely Captain Pike won’t mind approving more lab time and materials for this research, after he sees for himself how successful it is,*_ Spock thought as he pressed the “save” button on the PADD. As he did so, Sardo rose from his seat beside the console.

“Does my lord wish to retire now?” Sardo asked.

“I told you not to call me that, Sardo,” Spock replied mildly, in too good a mood to be cross.

“There are no humans around, sir,” Sardo pointed out.

“Nevertheless, it is not a habit I wish you to continue.”

“It is a habit hard to break, my lord,” Sardo replied as he fell in behind him. “You are the highest ranking Vulcan on board.”

“As far as our human crewmates are concerned, that rank is strictly military.” Spock led the way out of the lab, followed closely by the muscular young man who’d served him faithfully since their adolescence.

“Why do you insist upon lowering yourself to the level of these humans?” Sardo persisted, taking advantage of his long service to speak freely.

“Are you forgetting that my mother is also human?” Spock replied, smiling into his beard.

“With all due respect to your lady mother, she at least is noble by marriage, as well as in manner. These people are all commoners.”

“Which is exactly why I do not wish them to know of my aristocratic birth. Titles tend to intimidate some commoners, while others become envious, and still others become obsequious, constantly trying to force an acquaintance with one so that they may advance themselves socially.”

“What human would presume to call you friend?” Sardo said with a touch of scorn.

 _*There is one human in particular whom I would not mind calling himself my friend,*_ Spock thought. _*Or even t’hy’la.*_ His blood quickened at the thought. Of all the humans on board the I.S.S. ENTERPRISE, James Kirk was the only one he gave a damn about. First of all, he was the only one on board who could play a decent game of chess, treating it as a game of strategy rather than a miniature battlefield. Second of all, he was the first human who made a real effort to welcome him on board when he was assigned a month ago.

As he and Sardo headed towards the turbo lift, Spock remembered his first day on board...

********

After being greeted by the captain upon his arrival, Spock spent the rest of the day getting acquainted with the science staff and familiarizing himself with the lab equipment. At the end of his shift, he and his bodyguard had retired to the Rec Room. All of the humans were clustered on one side, all the Vulcans on the other side. Vulcans were a minority on board the ENTERPRISE, but they were a strong minority, and stayed that way by sticking together; not many cared to associate with humans off duty. So Spock and Sardo had taken a table among the Vulcans, near the center of the room, close to the humans’ side. After they had eaten dinner, Spock had set up the 3D chessboard and played against Sardo for a while. At the end of the game, Sardo had excused himself to go to the men’s room. While he was gone, a young human male with sandy blond hair, who had been busy observing the newcomers since their arrival, had detached himself from the small group of humans at the alcoholic drinks dispenser and come over to Spock’s table.

“You must be the new science officer,” the human had greeted him courteously. “I’m James T. Kirk, first officer.”

Spock had nodded politely in reply. “I am Commander Spock.” Had he been introducing himself to another Vulcan, he would have used his father’s name, Spock bar’as Sarek. “Bar’as” simply meant “son of” and had no connotation of nobility about it. “I was just assigned today.”

“Welcome aboard the ENTERPRISE, Mr. Spock.” Kirk’s smile had been full of the warmth Spock had found lacking in the rest of the humans he’d met today. “I noticed you’re quite a chess player. I play a little myself. Mind having a game with me?”

Spock had hesitated, not quite sure if he should accept. He could sense the other Vulcans staring at them, wondering why someone of his obvious good birth and breeding, as was evident from the bodyguard who accompanied him, would deign to associate with a mere human, when there were plenty of his own kind around. No one knew yet of his human blood, and he had ordered Sardo never to address him as “lord” in public. But it was not logical to associate solely with Vulcans when there was at least one human who seemed to be amiable. So he had said to Kirk, “I was about to retire to my quarters, but I believe I can delay my departure long enough to play one more game.”

“Great!” Kirk had sat down in Sardo’s chair. “This should be fun. It’s not every day I get to play chess with someone who really knows the game.”

The human’s praise had filled Spock with unexpected warmth. While they were still setting up the triple-tiered chessboard, Sardo had returned. Finding his noble master about to play chess with a human, the confused young Vulcan had blurted out, “My lord, what is this?”

Spock had turned on him angrily. “I told you never to call me that!” he hissed, causing Sardo to cringe like a turtle trying to withdraw into its’ shell. Turning back to face Kirk, Spock saw that the human was regarding him with wide, amber eyes full of surprise. Spock had stared back at him, silently daring him to ask why he was concealing his nobility.

But all Kirk had said softly was, “I didn’t hear a word either of you said. It’s your move, Spock.”

That was the moment Spock knew he had found a friend…

********

Sardo stopped the lift at Deck 5 and announced, “We have arrived, sir.”

Spock came out of his reverie, realizing he had no memory of having entered the lift. He stepped out, with his bodyguard shadowing him as always. He was taking a risk being abroad at this time of night. Most officers were usually slain off duty by ambitious rivals wishing to succeed them. While he hadn’t been on board long enough to make any real enemies, other than a few human bigots who hated seeing any Vulcan in a position of authority, his friendship with Kirk had already earned him the strong disapproval of the more conservative Vulcans, who didn’t believe in consorting with these brutal, primitive humans any more than they had to. There was a strong possibility that one of them might try to make an example of him, as a warning to other liberal-minded Vulcans not to fraternize with humans. But he had to see that the captain got his copy of the report he’d spent so much time on. And since he had to pass the captain’s cabin on the way to his own anyhow, he might as well take advantage of the opportunity.

As they headed towards the captain’s cabin, he remembered Kirk telling him that Pike frequently stayed up late, working on some nefarious scheme to advance the glory of the Empire, or his own personal fortune. Spock had gotten the impression that Kirk was often present at these nocturnal interludes, and that they involved more than business. From this impression, along with some spiteful remarks he’d overheard from envious fellow officers, he guessed that the relationship between Captain Pike and his first officer was not strictly platonic. This didn’t surprise or shock him. Even among Vulcans, it was not unheard of for a senior officer to take a more than fatherly interest in a young male under his command. How else could a handsome and ambitious young man advance through the ranks as quickly as Kirk had? But Kirk had never boasted of an intimate relationship with the captain. Indeed, he seemed reluctant to admit having a relationship of any kind with him.

Shortly after making his acquaintance, Spock had also noticed that his new friend was always very nervous and edgy, starting at sudden noises, flinching whenever Spock made a sudden move, reaching for the dagger in his sash at the slightest hint of opposition, whether from another officer or an enlisted man. And he always seemed to be sporting a fresh set of bruises. Once, as he reached for a chess piece, his sleeve had pulled back to reveal a livid bruise around his wrist. His handsome face was frequently marred by these black and blue marks of violence, as well as an occasional black eye. Spock thought that he must be engaging in dueling while off duty. With his temper, that would not be surprising. But somehow, it didn’t seem right.

As they approached the captain’s cabin, Spock noticed that the captain’s personal guards seemed to be standing away from the door, still guarding it, but with such tense postures and nervous expressions, it was as if they expected someone to break out, rather than in. As soon as they noticed Spock, they quickly came to attention and saluted him, extending their arms forward and back to thump their fists smartly against their chests.

Spock returned the salute and asked, “Is the captain still awake? I have his copy of the report on that special project that he ordered.”

Both guards looked at each other in surprise and dismay before the younger one said, “Sir, I wouldn’t go in there now. He’s busy disciplining someone.”

“I see.” Spock knew that Starfleet captains had the power to discipline anybody under their command at any time. He also knew that Pike had a reputation as a harsh and brutal disciplinarian, frequently punishing some hapless crewmember for a relatively minor infraction. Spock was no softie himself when it came to discipline, but at least he took care to make sure the offender deserved the punishment. Pike wasn’t always so particular. “Perhaps I should come back in the morning?”

The guards looked relieved. “That would be wise, sir,” the younger one agreed.

As Spock turned to go, he heard the scream. It was muffled by the thickness of the door, but loud enough to be heard clearly by a Vulcan’s sensitive ears. Spock froze in his tracks as he recognized Kirk’s voice screaming, “No, Chris, stop!”

“Did you hear that?” Spock asked.

“Hear what, sir?” the younger guard said innocently, while the older one pretended neither of them had spoken.

“Who is in there with the captain?” Spock demanded.

“We’re not at liberty to say, sir,” the young human said stiffly, just before another scream rang out from behind the captain’s door.

This time Spock plainly heard Kirk saying, “Please don’t, Chris! Please don’t!” What was happening to his friend? What was Pike doing to him?

“Do you know what is going on in there?” Spock demanded of the other guard.

“No, sir, I don’t,” the human replied. But his face of stone said as plain as words: “Yes, I know what’s going on, but I can’t do a thing about it, so I just ignore it. And if you’re smart, you will too.”

Spock’s contempt for the human showed just as plainly in his dark eyes. The guard was forced to retreat from the ferocity in the Vulcan’s eyes, pressing back against the door he’d moved away from so he wouldn’t have to listen to those muffled screams. Sardo, who had also recognized the voice of his master’s human friend, said to him softly in Vulcan, “My lord, let us go away from here. There is nothing we can do.”

Spock replied, also in Vulcan, “No, there is nothing we can do-for now.” He turned on his heel and headed down the hall to his own cabin, straight-backed with repressed rage, Sardo following close behind.

********

Kirk regained consciousness in Sickbay, the pain in his lower body mercifully dulled by drugs. His back still throbbed where Pike had beaten him, and his head ached as if he had the mother of all hangovers. At least he could still see out of both eyes. As he became fully conscious, he was aware of someone standing by his bedside. Happily, it was not Pike. It was his friend Doctor McCoy with a compslate in his hands, scowling worriedly down at him.

“Good morning, Jim,” said the gravelly-voiced physician. “How’re you feeling?”

“Like hell, as usual.” He started to sit up, flinched at the pain it gave him and rolled over on his right side instead. “How long was I out this time?”

“Only eight hours. That’s assuming you conked out at 0100.” McCoy added sarcastically, “You’ll be happy to know that the captain has graciously allowed you 24 hours medical leave, to recover from the unfortunate accident you had in his quarters.”

“How generous of him.” It wasn’t unusual for Pike to order him back on duty bright and early the morning after a beating. “How am I supposed to have hurt myself this time?”

“Oh, he kept it simple. My medical report states-” McCoy read from the compslate. “‘Commander Kirk was summoned to my quarters after having been AWOL for over eight hours. While I was reprimanding him, he became ill, apparently from something he ate while down on Deneva. I allowed him to use my bathroom, where he became dizzy and fell against the shower stall, knocking himself out. While I was attempting to help him, he violently resisted my efforts at first aid, thus incurring further injury. As he was obviously disoriented by the blow to his head, I do not hold him responsible for his misconduct.’”

“What bullshit!” Kirk snapped. “If I was knocked unconscious, how could I have resisted his so-called efforts at first aid? And how does he justify raping me?”

“I was asked not to mention any signs of sexual assault in my report,” McCoy said primly, “since the captain felt it might be damaging to your reputation if word got out about what you like to do on leave.”

Kirk laughed bitterly. “Who does he think he’s fooling? The whole ship knows about us!”

“Yes, but they always pretend not to when he’s around. It’s better for their health that way. Besides, the illusion is precious to him. It helps him maintain his macho image in his own eyes. Like your friendship with Uhura.” The doctor’s stern face softened as he mentioned the beautiful black lieutenant. “She was here this morning before her shift started, asking how you were. Poor girl was almost in tears; ship’s scuttlebutt had you at death’s door. I’m gonna have to discipline those two loud-mouthed assistants of mine. If Pike finds out they talked, they might not live until we get to Talos IV.”

“Never mind them.” Kirk brushed off the fate of McCoy’s gossipy assistants. “What about Uhura? What did you tell her?”

“That reports of your impending death had been greatly exaggerated. I let her in here to see you for a few minutes.” Kirk then realized that they were in one of the few private cubicles in Sickbay. They were supposed to be reserved for the critically ill, but were usually occupied by sick or injured officers. Enlisted personnel had to make do with the barracks-style ward full of faulty diagnostic beds. The beds in the cubicles were always kept in good repair. “She stayed long enough to make sure you were okay, then she kissed you on the cheek and left.”

Kirk smiled, even though it made his face hurt. “I hope she’ll be okay without me looking after her. Sulu’s been acting up again.”

“Don’t worry, she can put him in his place without any help from you. She just likes using you to scare away the rest of the wolves. The same way you use her to throw people off the track about you and Chris.”

The smile left Kirk’s face. “Damn it, Bones, Chris is the only one who thinks people believe she’s my girlfriend! Everybody else thinks I’m either bisexual or using her as a beard, which I am. It’s not fair to her. She’s a good woman. She deserves a good man.”

“Where’s she gonna find one on this tub? I’d have a go at her myself, but I’m a bit long in the tooth to be chasing black beauties.” McCoy shook his head with a rueful grin. “Wouldn’t my old granddaddy the colonel be shocked to see me chasing a nigger? The old bigot would twirl around in his grave like a chicken on a barbeque spit.”

Kirk had to laugh at that, which made him wince. “Ow! Don’t make me laugh, Bones, please! It hurts too much.”

“Let me give you something for that.” He picked up a hypospray from the bedside table and injected Kirk with something that made the pain recede further. Kirk was grateful. McCoy’s hidden compassion made him stand out from your regular Starfleet ship’s surgeon. He wasn’t above allowing critically injured personnel to die if he thought they were beyond hope of recovery, but unlike other Starfleet doctors he’d ask the patients’ permission first before injecting them with a fatal overdose to end their suffering. He was also known to perform abortions off the record for crewwomen who had been raped. On this ship, that happened with depressing frequency. And for the last two years, he’d been fixing up Kirk every time his higher-ranking lover beat the crap out of him. He would have done so even if the captain didn’t order him to, because Kirk had once saved his life, giving them the tie of blood brotherhood.

McCoy knew that Chris Pike hadn’t always been this way. In the beginning, he had loved and cherished Jim Kirk. Nothing was too good for him; he took him along on every raid, covered his back in battle the same way Jim covered his, gave him the pick of the spoil afterwards. McCoy thought the relationship started going sour about two years ago, when Jim got tired of being treated like the captain’s dirty secret. He started demanding that Chris acknowledge him publicly as his lover. But Chris’ ego wouldn’t allow him to openly admit he had a male lover. He was afraid it would make him look like less of a man, even though a captain’s sexual practices were usually winked at by high command, provided he did his job right.

And Christopher Pike was very good at his job. Spreading the fear of Starfleet and the Terran Empire throughout the galaxy, wringing tribute out of reluctant allies, forcing unallied planets to accept the protection of the Empire in return for exclusive market rights to their goods. Those planets that refused to accept the Empire’s dubious protection were brutally punished; overrun by Starfleet troopers, their governments overthrown, their people massacred, the survivors sold as slaves. But these raids weren’t always successful. Sometimes the planet’s population managed to hold them off until help arrived in the form of another unallied planet’s army. Sometimes they even won. That had been happening far too many times lately. McCoy estimated that it had started within the last two years, which coincided with the time Captain Pike began drinking heavily and abusing his lover for being too demanding.

“What am I gonna do, Bones?” Kirk now asked him, fighting against the drowsiness caused by the drugs McCoy had given him. “He won’t let me go and I can’t leave him. And if I stay with him much longer, he might kill me.”

“No ‘might’ about it,” McCoy grumbled. “If you stay aboard this ship, you will be killed sooner or later. Not by some ambitious fellow officer, but by the man who claims to love you.”

“He does, doesn’t he?” Kirk pleaded for reassurance. “He must love me, or he wouldn’t be so desperate to keep me. There must be some way I can stop him from hurting me. If only I knew how...” His voice trailed off as his face became that of a bewildered little boy, wondering why he was being punished when he was trying so hard to be good.

McCoy kept silent, not wanting to add to his pain. It was a testimony to Jim Kirk’s character that he was still able to love Chris Pike after all he’d done to him. Two years of continuous physical abuse and he was still blaming himself for it. _*Why doesn’t he put the blame where it belongs? Why can’t he accept the fact that Chris Pike is a drunken, sadistic SOB who likes to hit him? Because then he’d have to admit that he’s not the perfect man a much younger Jim Kirk thought he was when he fell in love with him? Or is he just afraid that if he leaves him, he’ll never find anyone else to love? I’ve heard Chris taunting him when he thought no one was listening, telling him ‘You’d better stick with me, punk, who else is going to want your worthless ass?’ But surely Jim’s too smart to believe that? Unless his self-esteem has taken as much of a beating as he has.*_

McCoy looked into his friend’s bruised face, feeling pity mixed with contempt. _*I’ll bet if he really wanted to leave, he could. I’ve never seen anything stop Jim Kirk from getting what he really wanted. Why doesn’t he just get out of here while he still can?*_

Kirk, who had been nodding off, managed to rouse himself enough to look into his friend’s blue eyes. Seeing only the pity in them through the haze of drugs, he pleaded with him. “Bones, can’t you talk to him? You’re closer to his age, maybe he’ll listen to you without starting an argument, like he does every time I try to talk to him. Can’t you make him see how he’s hurting me? I don’t want to have to leave him, but if he keeps hurting me, I’ll have no other choice.” Kirk was dangerously close to tears by now. “Make him stop hurting me, Bones,” he begged. “Please make him stop.”

McCoy swallowed the lump in his throat and hated himself for the contempt he’d felt. “I wish I could, Jim. I wish I could.” He petted Kirk comfortingly on one shoulder, hoping he wasn’t touching a bruised spot. “You get some rest now, you hear? I’ll see that you’re not disturbed.”

No sooner had McCoy left the cubicle when he heard the deep voice of their new science officer asking for him in the outer office. With a scowl, he prepared for a confrontation with the intruder. He didn’t care for Vulcans at the best of times, and this particular Vulcan always got his back up, for some reason.

Spock appeared at the ward entrance, scanned the room as coolly as an android until he spotted McCoy, and then headed towards him. McCoy kept the scowl on his face, hoping to discourage him. No such luck. Spock walked right up to him, gave him the briefest of nods and said in that maddeningly calm way of his, “Good morning, Doctor. I wish to see Commander Kirk.”

“Jim’s asleep,” McCoy informed him curtly. “He ain’t seeing nobody.”

“He will see me,” Spock replied, not at all discouraged. “In which of these cubicles have you installed him?”

“Are you deaf? I said Jim ain’t seeing nobody!” McCoy’s voice rose sharply with exasperation.

“I wish to see him, Doctor,” Spock persisted. “If he is asleep, then I shall remain by his bedside until he awakens. I promise not to disturb him. But I must speak to him when he awakens.”

“Look, I’m the doctor here, and if I say Jim’s in no condition to see anybody then you’ve got no right to just barge in and-”

“Bones?” Kirk’s sleepy-sounding voice came from the cubicle behind him. “Who are you talking to? Is that Spock?”

McCoy turned around and yelled back, “Visitors are restricted while you’re recovering! Go back to sleep!” Turning back to Spock, he started to say, “Now will you please get out and let my patient re--Hey! What’re you doing?” the doctor yelled as he found himself airborne. Spock calmly picked him up and put him on top of a nearby medical supply cabinet. It was at least five feet tall, so he knew that it would take McCoy some time to get down without hurting himself or knocking over the cabinet full of valuable drugs. Leaving the doctor perched atop the cabinet, swearing a blue streak at all Vulcans in general and one Vulcan in particular, Spock entered the cubicle.

He found Kirk in bed, lying on his side with his head on his arm. Seeing Spock, he started to pull the covers up to hide his face. Then he decided the hell with it and lowered the covers, letting Spock get a good look at him.

“I didn’t want you to see me like this,” Kirk told him quietly. “But since you insisted on barging in, you’ll just have to accept the way I look.”

“I don’t care how you look,” Spock informed him. “I just had to see you, to make certain that you survived last night’s ordeal.”

Kirk stared at him, his eyes wide with anguish. “You know what really happened last night?” he said in a choked voice.

Spock nodded. “I was passing the captain’s cabin after working late in the lab. I intended to give him a copy of my report on the special project. But his guards reacted peculiarly to my request for admittance. They informed me that Captain Pike was busy disciplining someone and recommended that I return in the morning. As I was turning away, I heard a noise.” A hint of sadness came into the dark eyes. “The guards pretended not to know what was going on inside, but I knew. I recognized your voice, Jim.”

“Was I that loud?”

“Loud enough for a Vulcan to hear you through a closed door.” He leaned closer to the bed and whispered, “I wanted to help you. When I realized that it was you inside being disciplined-being brutalized by that man, I wanted to help you, with all my heart.”

Tears came to Kirk’s eyes. “I wish you could have helped me,” he whispered in reply. “But he would only have had you thrown in the brig for spoiling his fun.”

“He takes pleasure in hurting you? Jim, that is abominable!” Spock’s hushed voice conveyed his horror more eloquently than a shout. “Why do you endure it?”

“I have no choice.” Kirk fought back the tears as he whispered his confession to his friend. “He’s my captain and my lover. I chose to follow him into battle ten years ago, and I chose to share his bed as well. So whatever comes of those decisions is my fault.”

“It is not your fault!” Spock sat down by the bed so he could be at Kirk’s level as he whispered furiously at him. “You chose to be his lover, not his slave! He has dishonored your bond by so mistreating you!”

“Whatever he does to me, I deserve it,” Kirk said stubbornly. “I know I haven’t been the best of first officers. I should have been more supportive, more understanding of the pressures he’s under as captain...” his sad voice began to recite the monotonous litany of excuses he’d come up with to rationalize his lover’s behavior.

“Stop blaming yourself, Jim!” Spock told him harshly. “It is not your fault! He is brainwashing you! He wants you to believe you incite the violence against yourself, so that he won’t have to accept responsibility for his own actions.”

Kirk stared at him unbelievingly, before his eyes narrowed into angry slits. “What the hell do you know about it? Have you ever been in love?”

“No, I have never known a warrior’s love,” Spock admitted. “But I can tell you that no honorable warrior would ever treat his bondmate the way that Christopher Pike treats you. Among my people, such a bond is sacred, as close as marriage. When two warriors chose each other, they vow to protect and defend one another’s lives and honor. To raise one’s hand against one’s bondmate is as shameful as failing to guard his back in battle, or abandoning him to the mercy of the enemy. A Vulcan who shares a warrior’s bond would sooner cut his own throat than do anything that would harm his bondmate.”

Kirk blinked his eyes, then cast them down to hide the tears. “It used to be that way between me and Chris,” he muttered. “In the beginning, he would do anything for me. And I would do anything for him. Now he’s like a completely different man. I don’t know his mind anymore; I can’t predict what he’ll do from one day to the next. He’s not the same man I used to know.” He hid his face in his arm as he whispered in shame, “He’s not the same man I used to love.”

“Do you still love him, even after all he has done to you?” Spock waited anxiously for his reply.

“I don’t know.” Kirk’s voice was muffled by his arm. “When he does this to me, I hate him. I hate him so much, I could kill him with my bare hands.”

“Why don’t you?” Spock asked calmly.

Kirk looked up at him, his tawny hair falling into his amber eyes, still bright with tears, the traces of which could be seen on his bruised face. “Because when he isn’t hitting me, he loves me like no one’s ever loved me before. He’s as generous with his spoils as he is with his love. He made me his first officer over two others who had more seniority, but only after I had proven myself in the field. I think I loved him the first time I saw him, when I was just a lowly ensign newly assigned to my first ship. I thought he was the perfect model of a Starfleet officer. It took him a year to notice me among all the other promising young officers, but when he did--when he singled me out and offered me his love, I didn’t even bother to ask what was in it for me. Anybody else would have held out until he promised a promotion. That’s how it’s usually done, when the captain takes an interest in you. But I did it for love. I did it for love, Spock,” he repeated, his voice breaking as his eyes closed, squeezing out tears of shame to freshen the moist trails running down his face. “And this is how he pays me back!”

Spock nodded grimly, wishing he could wipe those tears away. He wished he could gather Jim into his arms and take all his pain away. But the Vulcan warrior’s code of honor forbade him from making overtures to another man’s bondmate while that man still lived. However, if the one he desired left his bondmate voluntarily, or the bond was severed by death...Spock could see he had quite a job before him, undoing all the emotional damage Christopher Pike had done to his lover’s mind. Pike would no doubt make some gesture of contrition before long, to convince Jim that he was, indeed, still loved. But by the time his body was healed, the pattern of abuse would begin again.

 _*Not this time,*_ Spock promised himself. _*I shall not let him hurt you again. You are mine, Jim Kirk. I have chosen you, and mine you shall be. If you are to be mine, you cannot be his. So he must be eliminated.*_ He felt no guilt at the thought of murdering someone to take his bondmate. By Vulcan standards, Pike deserved death for dishonoring his warrior’s bond by being cruel to his bondmate. If only he could convince Jim of that...

The beautiful human was staring up into the Vulcan’s bearded face, wondering what thoughts were lurking behind those hooded eyes. _*Is he disgusted with me for not being as stoic as a Vulcan? Does he think I’m a fool to go on loving Chris? Well, I don’t care what he thinks! Why should I care, he’s just a friend.*_ Deep down inside, a part of him whispered: * _Is he?*_ The part that always seemed to tingle with warmth whenever he saw the Vulcan, the part that made him seek Spock out the first time he saw him and find an excuse to remain in his presence so he could go on looking at him, listening to the sound of his mellow, deep voice. Had he examined this feeling more closely, he would have recognized it as the same one he felt when he was falling in love with Chris. But the same misguided loyalty that kept making excuses for his lover’s brutality refused to let him see that he was subconsciously seeking a replacement for Chris. “Spock, what are you thinking?” he finally asked.

Spock studied the beautiful, bruised face before him and said casually, “I was thinking that perhaps I could help to ease your pain. Have you ever heard of the Vulcan mindmeld?”

“Yes, I’ve seen Vulcans using it to, ah, share thoughts with each other.” Kirk blushed a little as he recalled under what circumstances he’d seen it. He’d accidentally stumbled upon a Vulcan couple on the observation deck, a man and a woman holding each other close, caressing each other’s faces, or so it appeared. Each one had a hand pressed to the other’s cheek; their eyes were closed as they shared each other’s thoughts. They didn’t even notice Kirk, who stood and watched them silently, wondering if this was some sort of Vulcan courtship ritual, until it finally dawned on him that they were communing mentally. There was no need for words between them; anyone could see that here were two hearts that beat as one. It touched him, and made him feel a little ashamed as well, as if he had intruded upon a human couple kissing. He had slipped away to give them their privacy, wondering how it felt to be so completely a part of your lover that your mind and his were one.

“Yes, it is used primarily for communication. It is also used for healing. If you will permit me to touch you, I will attempt to alleviate your physical pain by finding each wounded area of your body and numbing the pain nerves. I will also be able to speed up the healing process by stimulating your cells to regenerate faster. This is known as a healing meld. Ordinarily it is used on the battlefield, when there is no healer available. It draws on the psychic energy of the one doing the healing, which is very draining. But because we are friends, I am willing to share some of my strength with you-if you will let me,” Spock concluded humbly.

“Sure, why not?” Kirk saw no harm in letting Spock meld with him. He was curious to know just how it felt to commune mentally with someone. He never suspected that Spock might be trying to influence him mentally, to break his bond with the unworthy one he was tied to. “What do I have to do?”

“Just relax and clear your mind. Lie back if you wish.” Spock’s calm tone of voice hid the excitement he felt at the thought of finally touching his beloved friend.

Kirk lay back against the pillow and shut his eyes. He concentrated on clearing his mind of all disturbing thoughts. When his mind was a comfortable blank, he murmured, “Okay, I’m ready.”

Spock had used the interval to prepare himself as well. As soon as he had Kirk’s consent, he gently laid his right hand on Kirk’s left cheek, the least bruised side of his face. Closing his eyes, he began to chant, “Your mind to my mind, my thoughts to your thoughts. Our minds are merging, becoming one, our thoughts the same...”

Kirk found himself floating in a warm, quiet darkness, detached from his physical body, yet still able to sense it around him, as if he were an unborn baby inside a womb. He sensed another presence in the darkness with him, a familiar one. _*Spock?*_ he thought.

 _*Yes, Jim, it is I,*_ Spock’s mind voice reassured him. _*I am now going to scan your body for internal and external injuries.*_ Kirk then felt a sensation of being gently stroked by warm hands, exploring every surface of his body, as waves of psychic energy washed over him, penetrating the skin to the nerve and muscle tissue, even to the bone beneath.

One by one, Spock located every area on his body that had been injured by Pike’s fists and used his psychic energy to numb the pain nerves in and around the injury. He also speeded up the healing process, so that the bruises would fade faster. Kirk felt a tingling sensation, like the pins and needles feeling in a limb that had fallen asleep from lack of circulation, as his skin cells and white corpuscles were stimulated by the burst of outside energy to work faster. His back and shoulders fairly glowed with this unaccustomed warmth, while his face felt as if he were lying in the sunlight soaking up rays on a beach somewhere.

When all his external injuries were taken care of, Spock probed a little deeper. Kirk let out an involuntary whimper as he felt his violated rectum being touched by warm, gentle fingers. As gentle as the touch was, it still hurt him to be handled down there.

 _*It’s all right, Jim, let me heal you. Let me ease your pain,*_ the Vulcan’s mind voice crooned to him as the warm, gentle fingers continued their probing, numbing the pain nerves while speeding up the process of healing McCoy had only started; repairing ruptured blood vessels, sealing off tears in the delicate tissues, mending the trauma caused by a sudden, violent intrusion into such an intimate place without any lubricant. McCoy’s sub-dermal regenerator had only repaired the outer layer of injured tissue, while Spock’s healing meld went much deeper, repairing even the minutest tears.

Gradually, Kirk began to feel as if he were being held gently and securely in strong arms against a firm, muscled body, caressed by loving hands. _*Spock, what is this? Are you still healing me?*_

 _*No, Jim, your body has already healed itself. I am only trying to give you pleasure, to make up for the pain you have suffered.*_ The stroking sensation was strongest over his erogenous zones; Kirk felt as if his nipples were being gently licked and sucked, while his buttocks were stroked and his privates were fondled.

 _*Don’t do that!*_ Kirk told him. He was starting to feel aroused, and was ashamed of himself for responding to any man but Chris, even if it was only in his head.

 _*Does this not please you?*_ Spock asked. _*I only want to make you feel better. This is part of the healing process when one has been violated as you were, so that you may learn not to fear love.*_

 _*But I already have a lover, Spock,*_ Kirk tried to reason with his friend, make him see that this was equivalent to infidelity on his part.

 _*He does not deserve you!*_ Spock told him angrily. _*He dishonors your warrior’s bond with violence against your person! Why do you cleave to him? You no longer owe him any loyalty. It was he who struck the first blow, so it must be you who breaks the bond.*_

_*But I can’t! I love him!*_

_*You love the memory of what you once had. That love is over now, Jim. It died the first time he struck you in anger. You cling to the memory of that love because you fear having to go without it. But you need not live without love. Cast off your unworthy bondmate and you shall have another, better lover.*_ Spock’s mind voice became soft and seductive as he continued his psychic probing of Kirk’s erogenous zones, stimulating the pleasure center of his brain as he projected a mental image of them lying together naked, kissing, caressing, holding each other close as they prepared to make love.

 _*No, Spock! Please don’t do this!*_ Kirk concentrated until he was able to visualize pushing Spock away from him. _*It’s not fair to Chris! And it’s not fair to me, either, tempting me like this when you know I’m not free to love you!*_

The mental image of Spock raised itself on one elbow to look down on him, dark eyes burning into his, desire plainly evident on his face. _*If you were free, would you accept the love I offer you? Would you form a new bond with me and let me show you the true meaning of a warrior’s love? Let me teach you that love between two men does not have to include violence? That you need not sacrifice your pride in the name of love?*_

Kirk lay beside this image of Spock feeling both frightened and aroused by the choice he was being offered. To love and be loved by a man who considered him an equal, deserving of respect? Or to stay with Chris and be treated like a whore one moment, a child the next? He remembered the love they used to share before things went bad, before Chris started drinking so much, criticizing everything he did, looking for excuses to hurt him. It had been so wonderful then, having Chris to love and care for him. He’d felt so safe, so happy, so secure in his arms. Nothing could touch him while he was with Chris. Nobody could harm him. He longed to feel that way again. Spock was offering to make him feel that way again, show him all the tenderness he’d missed, give him back his pride so that he’d feel like a man again. But how could he just turn his back on Chris after ten years?

 _*And how can you continue to forgive what is unforgivable, the continuous violation of your body, physical and sexual?*_ Spock argued, trying to make him see that he was justified in leaving his abusive mate. _*He doesn’t deserve you, Jim! Come to me and I will protect you from all who seek to harm you, as a true warrior should. But first we must kill him.*_

The idea of actually killing Chris, of freeing himself from his violence at last, bloomed in his mind like some poisonous flower whose seed had been planted the first time Chris had hit him. This dark flower looked as sweet to him as Spock’s forbidden love. But still he hesitated to accept the idea. _*I know I should have killed him long ago for doing this to me, but deep down in my heart, I still love him.*_

_*But deep down in your heart, you also hate him and know that he deserves death. He must die, Jim! He will neither let you go nor allow you to leave, so the only way you can be free of him is to kill him.*_

_*No, no, I can’t! He’s my captain and my lover, I owe him my obedience and loyalty!*_

_*You lost your lover when he became your master. By now you are more slave than lover. Free yourself, Jim! Kill the tyrant who subjugates your body and soul, then you and I can be together always...*_ Spock kept stimulating his pleasure center while continuing to project the mental image of them lying together, side by side. The image was so real; Kirk imagined he could feel Spock’s chest hairs beneath his fingers as he pressed his hands against his chest, trying to keep him away. Spock’s image pressed back against his hands, while his eyes pleaded with him silently, trying to overcome his resistance with persuasion.

 _*If Captain Pike is slain, then as his second in command you will become captain,*_ Spock now reminded him, appealing to the hidden ambition he’d glimpsed inside the darkness of Kirk’s mind. _*You are more worthy to be captain of the ENTERPRISE than he is. And when you are captain, I shall be your first officer and never leave your side. Together we can be invincible.*_ The image of Spock pressed a little bit closer as he felt Kirk’s hold on him weaken. The uncertainty in the hazel eyes of Kirk’s image encouraged him to continue. _*Think of it, Jim! You as captain of the ENTERPRISE, spreading the fear of the Empire throughout the galaxy. With me by your side, providing you with scientific information, as well as the comfort and security of a warrior’s bond. No one shall ever abuse you again while I am there to protect you. You will be mine and I will be yours. So will the ENTERPRISE. Think what you could accomplish! Your own command, Jim. No more than what you deserve, after all that you have suffered at Pike’s hands...*_

Spock felt the last of Kirk’s resistance crumpling as he showed him how to achieve his ambition. His desire for the human was as strong as Kirk’s desire for a command of his own. Spock had never been ambitious to command, only to discover the mysteries of life through science. He let Kirk see that he would be no threat to him, that he had no intention of vying with him for command of the ENTERPRISE. Once he was captain, he would reign supreme, with a devoted Vulcan first officer to insure that he would remain on top, inviolate, untouchable. Except by Spock in the privacy of their shared quarters...

Kirk’s image quit pressing against the chest of Spock’s image and started caressing it as he felt desire beginning to rise within him, along with the ambition Pike had been trying to suppress with his beatings. Kirk knew that he would never be able to share in the command of the ENTERPRISE as an equal, nor win a command of his own by transferring to another ship. Pike would neither share power with him nor allow him to find it somewhere else. Pike wanted everything for himself; the ENTERPRISE, his lover’s body, even his lover’s pride. Why shouldn’t he, Jim Kirk, get what he wanted for a change?

 _*You shall,*_ Spock assured him seductively. _*You shall have everything that you desire, Jim. Your own command, the respect of your fellow officers, and a true warrior’s love.*_ His mental image grasped the smaller human hands in his own, holding them gently, lovingly, as he kissed him.

As the warm, soft lips touched his, Kirk forgot all about Pike and his cruelty. He responded eagerly to Spock’s seduction, craving the tenderness he offered, sensing the strength beneath it that was more than a match for Pike. He wrapped his arms around the lean, hard body, feeling it cover him like a blanket as Spock rolled him over on his back. Kirk felt a momentary flare of panic, quickly subdued as Spock lifted himself on elbows and knees above him, allowing Kirk enough breathing room to let him see he was not being pinned down.

 _*I am not Christopher Pike. I shall never force you the way he does. This I swear, on my honor as a warrior.*_ Spock seemed to be kissing him while speaking to him at the same time. Kirk was so dizzy with pleasure by now, he kept forgetting that this was only an illusion, a mental projection. It felt so real, so hot and so sweet, he never wanted it to end.

 _*Will you be mine, Jim? If I help you to rid yourself of the unworthy one you are now bonded to, will you form a new bond with me? I will show you what a warrior’s love really means.*_ Spock’s kisses became more ardent, more insistent, as his inhumanly hot body hovered tantalizingly above him, promising even more physical delights. _*Give yourself to me and I will be yours forevermore, always at your side. You will be part of me and I will be part of you. Forever inside you, like this-*_ Suddenly Spock lowered himself so that he was lying full-length on top of him, pressing so close Kirk could feel his aroused manhood against his belly. Its impressive size, its thickness and hardness, made Kirk long to feel it inside him too. Just as suddenly, Spock lifted himself off him again. _*And like that,*_ he added. _*You shall have everything you ever dreamed off, all that you desire to keep you satisfied.*_ Spock kept hovering over him, not letting a single inch of his body make contact with Kirk’s, not even kissing him now as he stared down at him challengingly. _*Will you be mine, Jim? When Pike is out of the way, will you give yourself to me? Will you?*_

 _*Yes!*_ Kirk told him eagerly. _*Yes, I promise to give myself to you once Chris is gone! Help me free myself from him and I’ll be yours that same day! I’ll make you my first officer and we’ll be together always! Always-*_ Kirk gave a gasp that turned into a moan of pleasure as Spock finally settled on top of him, holding him close in strong arms.

 _*Then I promise to help you slay Pike and make you captain in his place, in return for your love.*_ Spock kissed him tenderly to seal the vow. Kirk’s eager response made him long to force a bond on him now, take him while the human was still pliant and incapable of resisting. But that would make him no better than Pike. Mental rape was as despicable as the physical kind. Even now, he was dangerously close to violating the Vulcan warrior’s code of honor by mentally seducing one who was still tied to another. But he could feel no mental tie between Kirk and Pike inside the human’s mind, as he would have felt if he’d been trying to break a Vulcan bonding. Could it be that humans did not bond mentally with each other as Vulcans did? He knew that humans were capable of bonding with Vulcans; his mother’s bond with his father was a strong one. No matter; as long as Kirk was willing and able to bond with him. But not now. He started to withdraw from Kirk’s mind.

Kirk felt him leaving and said desperately, _*Don’t go! Please, stay a little longer!*_

 _*Jim, if we remain in this meld much longer, the fantasy we are experiencing together could become reality,*_ Spock explained to him gently. _*I cannot, in honor, lie with you while you are still Christopher Pike’s lover. He has wronged you terribly and that wrong must be redressed by one of us before we can be together.*_

Kirk felt like weeping at the prospect of having to wait for Spock’s love. _*But I need you now! Won’t you love me for a little while, please?*_

 _*Not yet, Jim. Be patient. Soon we will be together forever.*_ Spock gave him one last kiss before gradually letting the image fade. Kirk soon found himself floating in warm, comforting darkness again, alone yet not alone, sensing Spock’s presence near, but unable to feel him physically. _*Be patient, Jim,*_ he heard Spock’s mind voice repeating lovingly. _*When this is over, when it is all behind us, then we shall be together forever.*_

 _*Yes, yes! We’ll always be together, you and I! No one will ever part us!*_ Kirk held onto his promised lover’s presence for as long as he could, before feeling it gently slip away.

As the meld dissolved, Kirk slowly became aware of his body again. He could feel it around him, enclosing him like a cage of flesh, keeping his mind a prisoner. He felt a tear escape his left eye as he mourned for the loss of closeness, of oneness, that he’d felt while mindmelding with Spock. Then he felt warm fingers brushing the tear away and opened his eyes to see that Spock was still with him.

“Spock!” he said joyfully, reaching up to grasp the warm hand on his face.

“Jim,” Spock murmured comfortingly. “Be at peace, _T’hy’la_. Rest here until the doctor releases you. Then we shall work upon releasing you from Pike.”

“The sooner, the better!” Kirk agreed.

PART TWO

The next morning upon the bridge of the I.S.S. ENTERPRISE, Captain Pike and the bridge crew got a shock when the first officer reported for duty. Kirk got off the turbolift and went straight towards the command chair with no hesitancy or stiffness in his walk to indicate any sign of internal injury. All eyes were on him as he approached the captain’s chair.

“Good morning, sir,” Kirk said pleasantly. “First Officer Kirk reporting for duty as ordered.”

Pike, who was busy reading his latest orders from Starfleet, looked up from the compslate straight at his lover, prepared to act as if nothing had happened last night, as usual. “Good morning, Mr. Kirk,” he said, before his mouth fell open in astonishment. He sat there staring at Kirk’s unmarked face as Kirk smiled sweetly at him.

 _*What the hell is this?*_ Pike wondered furiously. * _I beat the hell out of him and he shows up a day later looking like nothing happened?*_ He kept staring at Kirk’s face, looking for some sign of makeup or cosmetic surgery that would explain his appearance.

Lieutenant Uhura was smiling with relief to see her friend looking so well. Chekov was grinding his teeth, furious that his rival’s looks hadn’t suffered by his latest altercation with his lover. How would Pike ever notice him if Kirk kept on looking so good? Beside Chekov, Sulu was frowning as he wondered what Kirk’s secret was. The rest of the bridge crew was wondering the same thing, as they stood with their fingers poised over their consoles or styluses over their compslates. All were used to seeing Kirk looking like he’d survived an assassination attempt. Was Pike starting to ease up on him? Or was Kirk following Kyle’s example and not bothering to resist anymore? In either case, he wouldn’t last much longer as the captain’s favorite. Those who admired Kirk were glad for him, while those who envied him were already plotting to replace him.

Only the new Vulcan science officer didn’t bother to look up as the first officer came onto the bridge. He sat at his station ostensibly studying a lab report while watching Kirk and Pike out of the corner of his eye. It gave him a great deal of satisfaction to see how baffled Pike was at the sight of Kirk’s rapid recover. _*It shall give me even more satisfaction to see you in his place, my love. Soon, very soon...*_

“Is there something wrong, sir?” Kirk asked innocently as Pike continued to stare at his face.

“What? Oh, no, nothing!” Pike assured him hurriedly. “I’m just glad to see that you’ve, ah, recovered so quickly from your, um, accident.”

Kirk’s smile became sardonic. “Oh, yes, sir, I’m completely recovered from that little mishap. And I can assure you that it will never happen again.” He stared right into Pike’s eyes as he spoke, allowing him to see the naked threat in his own eyes.

For a moment, Pike was shaken. He was used to veiled threats of retaliation from his abused lover. They usually came to nothing, after Pike had left him alone long enough and given him an expensive gift to make amends. But remembering what Kirk had said to him last night before the violence started made him wonder if he really meant it this time. If so, he’d better nip this in the bud. “Very well, Mr. Kirk. Carry on,” he told him gruffly, giving Kirk a look of his own that warned him he intended to get to the bottom of this mystery soon.

“Thank you, sir.” Kirk moved over to the Science station, greeting Spock as if they were no more than the friends they’d always been. “Good morning, Mr. Spock. Did you manage to get that material you promised me?”

“Yes, Mr. Kirk, I believe you will find it satisfactory for your purpose.” Spock gave him a compslate, allowing their hands to touch momentarily. The brief contact permitted him to commune with Kirk mentally through the tenuous link that had been created between them while they were mind melding. _*Very good, Jim. Keep acting as if I mean nothing more to you than a friend. As soon as you have spoken to Uhura, come visit me in the Science Department.*_

Kirk pretended to be reading the compslate while his lover-to-be communed with him. He then handed it back saying, “Thank you, Mr. Spock. I’ll drop by the Science Department later to pick it up.” He managed to give Spock a longing look that nobody else saw before turning away.

His next stop was Communications, where Uhura greeted him with a smile and whispered, “Jim, what happened to you?”

He returned her smile and said aloud, “I’m fine, Lieutenant, how are you?” Leaning over her shoulder, he pretended to study her console while he whispered in her ear. “Meet me for lunch and I’ll tell you all about it.”

“You’d better!” she warned him, then laughed softly as he blew in her ear. This really bugged Sulu, which was why they did it. As Kirk straightened up, he saw Sulu scowling at them. Kirk just smiled at him knowingly, pausing to flick one of Uhura’s earrings playfully before he walked away.

Pike saw the whole interplay between his young officers and felt relieved that Kirk was still using Uhura to shield their relationship. _*Good, he’ll get sympathy from his girlfriend. Maybe she’ll persuade him not to do anything rash. She’d better, if she still hopes to be the captain’s woman once of these days. He has to survive me to become captain.*_ He didn’t care what Kirk did with women, so long as no man ever came between them. If he ever found out Kirk had another man, he’d kill them both. Turning towards the Science station, he addressed his rival unknowingly. “Mister Spock, you may continue that special project I assigned you. I think it’s going to be very invaluable in the days to come.”

“Thank you, sir,” Spock replied, thinking: _*You will never live to see its’ completion. And it serves you right.*_ His perfectly trained features never even hinted at what he and Kirk had in mind for this man. _*By right I should challenge you to a duel, with the winner claiming Jim as his bondmate. But he has warned me how you are prepared to deal with any rivals. So you must die more subtly, more cruelly, by the hand of him whom you have wronged. I only wish that I may have a hand in your actual death as well. I would kill you slowly, so that Jim could savor it and taunt you as you die.*_ He spent the rest of the morning very pleasantly, imagining ways to kill Pike as slowly and painfully as possible.

********

Later that day in the Officers’ Mess, Kirk and Uhura sat in a corner together. In between bites of lunch they could be seen whispering and holding hands, acting like any other young human couple on a lunch date. The few Vulcans present ignored them, thinking it quite vulgar for anybody to be so blatantly demonstrative during courtship. The humans were equally divided between those who wondered when Uhura was going to get tired of her boyfriend also being the captain’s boyfriend, and those who thought, like Pike, that she was still hoping to become the captain’s woman one of these days.

“Jim, what did Doctor McCoy do to you?” Uhura said softly as she looked into her friend’s unmarked face. “When I saw you in Sickbay yesterday morning, you looked like death warmed over. Now you don’t have a mark on you. It’s like a miracle!”

“I could hardly believe it myself,” Kirk admitted. “And McCoy had nothing to do with it. Now he has even more reason to hate Vulcans!” he chuckled.

“Vulcans?” Uhura leaned a little closer, letting her eyelids droop as if she were hoping for a kiss. “Don’t tell me a Vulcan did this to you? I’ve heard that they were experts at psychic healing, but this is the first time I’ve ever heard of one being willing to use it on a human. Did you save a Vulcan’s life?”

Kirk smiled as he leaned forward to kiss her lightly on the lips. “No,” he whispered, “but he may have saved mine. You know Spock, my Vulcan friend?”

“The new science officer? Yes, you told me how close you two were becoming. Some of the other Vulcans are scandalized. They think it’s most improper for a person of his breeding to associate so openly with a mere human.” Her voice was edged with scorn, showing what she thought of such bigotry. “Did he go into a healing meld with you? He must think very highly of you, then. I understand a healing meld takes a lot out of a Vulcan, which is why they only do it for close friends and family. Someone they can trust not to take advantage of them in their weakened state.”

Kirk wrapped an arm around her and pretended to nibble on her ear as she giggled. “Yes, we went into a healing meld together,” Kirk whispered in her ear. “Not only did he heal me, he showed me how he really felt about me.” He hesitated, then decided to trust her. “He loves me, Nyota. He knows what Chris is doing to me and wants to free me from him. He’s going to help me become captain.”

Uhura stared at him in silent shock, her dark eyes as big as a frightened gazelle’s. “Jim!” she finally whispered fearfully. “What are you saying? If the captain finds out about you and Spock being lovers, let alone conspirators, you’ll both die!” Her hands trembled in his grasp.

“Don’t worry,” Kirk said softly as he squeezed her little brown hands reassuringly. “We’re not lovers yet. He’s an honorable man, by Vulcan standards, and his honor won’t let him make love to me while Chris still lives. The only way we can be together is if one of us kills Chris. Either I have to kill him myself, or Spock has to challenge him to a duel, with me as the prize.”

“Even Chris Pike isn’t crazy enough to accept a challenge from a Vulcan!” Uhura hissed. “Those people are more than twice as strong as humans! Spock could break him in half!”

“Only if Chris fought fair. What makes you think he will?” Kirk looked into her eyes with feigned ardor while murmuring, “Remember what happened to that Andorian captain who challenged him for scavenger’s rights to that wrecked treasure vessel?”

Uhura shuddered, remembering the outcome of that duel between the human and the Andorian on the deck of the wrecked vessel itself. It had been shown on the viewing screens of the ENTERPRISE and the Andorian ship, with both crews betting heavily on their own captains. The Andorian captain had lost big; what was left of him literally had to be scraped off the deck, as Andorian blood dries quickly once exposed to air, especially when the Andorian it’s leaking out of is lying in a pool of it. “I remember. God, it was awful! Chris fought like an animal!”

“And that was just for loot. Can you imagine how he’d fight if I was the prize?” Kirk snuggled up to her, pretending to nibble on her ear while whispering into it. “He’s told me plenty of times what he’d do to me if he ever caught me with another man. That’s when he isn’t telling me no other man would ever want damaged goods like me.”

“You wouldn’t be so damaged if he’d only stop beating you up,” Uhura said resentfully. “Honestly, Jim, I wish Spock would challenge him for you. You deserve to have someone fight for you the way you fought for me.”

Kirk squeezed her affectionately. “You’re worth fighting for, little lady. Especially against that slant-eyed bastard who’s been trying to get into your pants since you came on board.”

Uhura giggled. "I’ll never forget the way you pulled him off me and just flung him across the deck! He looked so funny with his head stuck in the disposal chute!”

Kirk smiled nostalgically. “Yeah, too bad the rest of him couldn’t fit through the chute. Lord knows I tried to get him down there.”

Uhura had to press her face against his shoulder to smother her laughter. He held her close until she got all the giggles out of her system, attracting quite a few envious looks from men who wondered what she saw in him. As soon as she was able to sit up and look him in the eye, he reduced her to helpless laughter again by saying, “I’ll never forget Sulu’s face when I told him ‘Uhura’s my girlfriend now, and if you ever bother her again, I’ll kick your little chop suey ass into the middle of next week!’”

She laughed as she took his face between her soft little hands and regarded him affectionately. “Oh, Jim, you’re such a dear! If only you were straight!” she sighed with regret.

“None of us is perfect. But if you really want to be my friend, you can help me and Spock when we move against Pike.”

“Just tell me how and when,” she whispered.

Kirk pretended to whisper sweet nothings in her ear while he described her part in the plan that he and Spock had worked out.

********

No one in the Science Department lab that day noticed any change in Spock’s demeanor as he performed his experiments. His hands didn’t shake as he measured and poured chemicals, his eyes never left the temperature control gauges, and his attention never wandered from the computer screen as he entered the results and compared them to his previous day’s findings. But inside, he was as nervous as any lover awaiting the imminent arrival of his beloved. He’d been bonded in childhood to a suitable bride, but that was solely to provide for his physical needs. He’d never known a warrior’s love, though he had dreamed of sharing one someday with the man of his choice. Until he met Jim Kirk, no man had ever tempted him. Now he was ready to risk everything for the sake of his Chosen One.

When Kirk entered the Science lab, Spock recognized the sound of the human’s tread approaching his work site. He forced himself to finish the last line of his report before glancing up at Kirk, who waited patiently by the console. “Ah, Mr. Kirk,” Spock said as if he had just noticed him. “Excellent timing. I have just finished my report and can now give you the material you requested earlier. If you will follow me?” He rose from his chair.

“After you, Mr. Spock.” Kirk fell in behind him as Spock led him to the supply closet in back of his work area.

As soon as the door closed behind them, Spock grabbed him and gave him a long, hard kiss. A startled Kirk resisted for a moment, then relaxed into the embrace, returning the kiss eagerly. Spock lifted the slightly shorter human off his feet as he held him tight, while Kirk wrapped his arms around the Vulcan’s neck. When their lips finally parted, Spock put him gently back down, but continued holding him. Kirk did the same, resting his blond head against a sturdy, blue-clad shoulder.

“I’ve missed you,” he told Spock softly.

“And I you,” Spock admitted. “But let us not lose track of time, _T’hy’la_. There will soon be time enough for us to spend together.” He released Kirk and put his right foot up on a packing crate. Reaching inside his boot, he pulled out a small dagger inside a gold-embroidered sheath. “This is what you will use to dispatch him.” He pulled the dagger from the sheath to show him.

“It’s a beauty.” Kirk admired the workmanship of the dagger. It was a delicate-looking thing about as long as his hand, with a thin double-edged blade of razor-sharp steel. The hilt ended in a blue enamel knob that could be easily grasped between the fingers.

“It is meant for killing swiftly and silently. That is why it was made small, to be easily concealed.”

“But how am I going to get it past the captain’s bodyguards? The doorway has a built-in metal detector to prevent anybody from carrying concealed weapons into the captain’s presence.”

Spock reached up to retrieve something from behind a can of powdered chemical on a shelf. “I thought as much. So while I was in Sickbay yesterday, I appropriated this.” He showed Kirk a length of surgical bandage. “I soaked it overnight in a solution that will shield the metallic part of the blade from the metal detector’s magnetic resonator. Once it is well wrapped in this, you will be able to get it past the metal detector without triggering the alarm. Now, are you right-handed or left-handed?”

“Right-handed.”

“Hold out your left arm, then.” Kirk did so. Spock pushed up his gold uniform sleeve to the elbow and laid the little dagger in its’ sheath against the inside of Kirk’s forearm, with the blue knob of the handle right below his palm. “Now hold your arm steady.” Spock proceeded to wrap the treated bandage around the dagger, until it was completely concealed. He stood back to examine his handiwork. “Is it comfortable?”

“Yes, I can hardly feel it. But I know it’s there.”

“See if you can pull it out of the sheath easily.”

Kirk dug two fingers into the opening at his wrist, grasped the blue knob of the little dagger and pulled it out. It gleamed wickedly in the dim light of the storage room.

Spock nodded in satisfaction. “Good. Now put it back in.”

Kirk obliged, carefully sticking the dagger’s thin blade into the small opening just visible beneath the bandages at his wrist. The blade slid home easily. Kirk smiled his gratitude at his friend. “You sure it won’t fall out?”

“Not if I wrapped it tight enough. Try it.”

Kirk shook his arm vigorously, but failed to dislodge the blade from inside the bandages. “Good! Now I’ve got a fighting chance against that bastard.”

“Has Lieutenant Uhura agreed to play her part?”

“Yes, she’s willing. I promised her the pick of my gems from Daedalus. But I think she would have done it for nothing.”

“Indeed?” There was a hint of jealousy in Spock’s voice. “Is she so fond of you?”

“Yes, we’re very good friends. And that’s all we are,” Kirk assured him. “I saved her honor and her life, so that gives us a tie of blood brotherhood.”

“You humans appear to take blood brotherhood as seriously as a true sibling relationship.”

“We have to. Anybody who’s willing to risk his life for you in this cutthroat fleet is a friend that you can trust. We’re not psychic, like you Vulcans, so we have to depend on ties of friendship forged in blood.”

“On Vulcan, such a pact as we have made also binds two persons together with ties of friendship forged in blood.”

“So I guess that makes us blood brothers too, huh?” Kirk held out his unbandaged hand to him.

“Yes, brothers in blood, sworn to avenge your honor.” Spock took his hand, looking into the hazel eyes of his Chosen One with total devotion. “I wish you did not have to do this alone,” Spock told him, his dark eyes betraying his anxiety. “I would rather challenge Christopher Pike to a duel for the right to be your bondmate. But you say he cannot be trusted to fight fairly?”

“No, not against a Vulcan. Or any other nonhuman, for that matter. I told you about the duel with the Andorian. I don’t want that to happen to you,” Kirk told him earnestly.

“And I do not want anything to happen to you. I have waited long to find you, _T’hy’la._ I have known many men who I would trust with my back in battle, but never have I known one that I would trust with my heart. Until now.” Spock gently laid his free hand on the side of Kirk’s face, pressing his sensitive fingertips against the meldpoints in the cheek leading to the psi centers of the brain. Kirk welcomed him into his mind, rejoicing in the feel of the familiar presence inside him. Spock caressed him mentally, stimulating his brain’s pleasure center so that every nerve ending tingled the way it would after an orgasm. Kirk shut his eyes and sighed, reveling in the pleasurable sensations that filled him.

 _*Oh, Spock!*_ he heard Kirk’s mindvoice groan happily. _*This feels so good! I can’t wait to get you in bed to see what the sex will be like!*_

_*I, too, am impatient for our physical union. It will be a pleasure to receive instruction from you on the art of loving a man.*_

_*I can’t believe you’ve never done it before! Surely someone as handsome and strong as you must have had some experience?*_

_*No, I regret that I have led a very uneventful life, as far as carnal knowledge is concerned. I am relying on you to fill that deficit in my knowledge,*_ Spock told him playfully.

_*It’ll be a pleasure. Now kiss me one more time and let’s get out of here, before somebody comes looking for supplies.*_

They kissed hungrily as Spock slowly dissolved the meld, letting Kirk feel his regret at their separation and his longing for their love to be consummated. Kirk felt so weak, he had to lean against the Vulcan’s tall, hard body for support. Spock caressed him briefly, enjoying the feel of Kirk’s compact, muscular body under his hands. Finally they parted, in silence, but with their eyes speaking volumes to each other. Unlocking the door, Spock stood aside as it whooshed open and allowed Kirk to precede him out.

********

The summons came at 2000 that evening. Pike’s yeoman came to Kirk’s cabin and gave him the captain’s compliments, and would Commander Kirk please join him for dinner? Kirk told him to tell the captain that he would be pleased to join him as soon as possible. Right after the young man left, Kirk hit the comm link on his computer.

“Nyota, it’s time,” he said to Lieutenant Uhura.

“All right, Jim. I’m on my way,” she assured him.

“Thanks.” He broke that connection and opened another one. “Spock, he’s sent for me.”

“Then go now, Jim. Don’t keep him waiting.”

“Don’t worry, this is one dinner date that I definitely don’t want to miss.” Kirk smiled fiercely as he stroked the little dagger beneath the bandage wrapped around his left arm. “If I’m not at your quarters in half an hour, you’ll know I need help.”

“I shall be there for you, _T’hy’la._ Always.” There was an undertone of passion in the Vulcan’s calm voice, which gave Kirk a thrill. He left his cabin filled with the determination only a man in love can feel.

When he got there, he found the same two guards who had been on duty the night he was beaten. Neither of them showed any surprise at seeing him return to the lion’s den of his own volition. “The captain’s expecting me,” Kirk told them, feeling his heartbeat accelerate as he thought of the metal detector in the doorway, wondering if Spock’s precautions would work.

“Yes, sir, go on in.” The door whooshed open. Kirk strolled between them holding his breath, expecting to hear the strident wail of the metal detector at any moment. But it didn’t go off. Sending up a silent prayer of thanks for Spock’s ingenuity, Kirk braced himself mentally for the confrontation with Pike.

Once again the cabin was dimly lit. This time there was a table for two set up in the middle of the room, with a white linen tablecloth, covered dishes, fine china and golden goblets on it. Kirk knew by the smell that one of his favorite dishes awaited him. No doubt there would also be some expensive trinket or other, to make him forget about the recent cruelty he’d suffered. _*Sorry, Chris, it’s not gonna work tonight,*_ Kirk thought grimly.

Captain Pike came out of the bathroom, looking handsome and sexy in his sleeveless gold uniform shirt with all the metals. The dim lighting helped; it concealed how much he’d aged in the last ten years. “Jimmy! How are you?” Pike said happily.

“I’m fine now. No thanks to you,” Kirk told him bluntly.

“Don’t tell me you’re still mad at me? I’m sorry things got out of hand here the other night. I just had a little too much to drink. You know how I get when I’m drunk. And I always drink too much when I’m missing you.” He sounded so convincing; Kirk was tempted to believe that he really meant it this time. “I’m really sorry, Jimmy. I’ll make it up to you, I promise.”

“Sure you will,” Kirk said, looking at him wearily. * _This man is so phony, how could I ever have fallen for him? Now that I know what a real warrior’s love is, just the thought of sleeping with him makes me sick.*_

“I mean it, Jimmy!” Pike told him earnestly. “Everything will be fine from now on, you’ll see. Come on, sit down,” he urged him, waving him towards the table. “Have some wine. It’s Venusian Nectar, the one you like.”

“I’m sure it is.” Kirk made no move toward the table; he just stood there looking at Pike, wearily and with a touch of contempt.

“I have something for you, Jimmy.” Pike walked toward him, reaching into his sash. Kirk clenched his teeth and his fists at the prospect of receiving yet another monetarily priceless, yet worthless gift. The captain held out his hand with a black velvet ring box in it. “This is it, Jimmy. The big one,” he told him with a grin. “Go on, open it.”

“No, thank you, Chris.” Kirk didn’t touch the little black box. He had a feeling he knew what was inside. After what he and Spock had shared earlier, the very idea of Chris Pike proposing to him was nauseating.

“Come on, Jimmy! Isn’t this what you’ve always wanted? For our relationship to be public? For everybody to know what you mean to me?” Pike opened the box to show him the heavy gold ring surmounted by a huge diamond, with a flaw in the center that made it look like a star was trapped inside. “Wear this and everybody will know that you’re not just the captain’s favorite. You’ll be my mate. And I’ll be yours. We’ll be together forever and ever, just like you always wanted.”

Kirk pushed the ring away impatiently. “I don’t want anything from you! I don’t even want you anymore!”

Pike stared at him in astonishment. “What do you mean?”

“I mean it’s over between us, Chris! Through, finished, finito! I don’t love you and I don’t want to be with you anymore! Can I be any plainer than that?”

Pike looked so stunned, Kirk almost felt sorry for him. “You don’t mean that, Jimmy,” Pike told him in a hoarse whisper. “You can’t possibly mean that.”

“Yes, I do! It’s all over between us, Chris. I’m sick of you, sick of all the violence and the lies. I hate myself for loving you enough to believe your lies. I hate you for what you’ve become. Let’s just end it all right here, right now, and get out of this relationship with whatever little bit of dignity we have left.” Kirk stopped to catch his breath and watched Pike’s face become pale, then red, as shock turned into anger.

“You can’t mean that, Jimmy,” he repeated with a definite note of menace in his voice. “If I thought for one moment that you meant it, you’d never leave this cabin alive.”

“But I do mean it, Chris. I don’t love you anymore. And I’m not afraid of you.” Kirk surprised himself as he said this. For ten years his whole life had centered around loving Chris, then fearing him as the love turned into hate.

“You’d better be!” Pike grabbed him by the left forearm and pulled him closer, staring into his face angrily, his eyes blue pinpoints of fury. “You’d better remember one other thing, mister! You’re mine and you always will be! And you’ll wear this ring to prove it, if I have to break your goddamn arm to get it on!” He tried to force the ring onto the third finger of Kirk’s left hand. As he did so, he became aware of the bandages wrapped around Kirk’s wrist. He relaxed his hold, but didn’t let go as he pushed Kirk’s sleeve up and stared at the bandages. “What happened to your arm?” he demanded. “I know I didn’t do this to you. How did you get this, Jimmy?”

Kirk held his breath as he desperately tried to think of a good lie.

_********_

The moment Kirk entered the captain’s cabin, Uhura popped out of her hiding place further down the corridor. She approached the captain’s bodyguards, holding a round tray with a thermal coffee pot and two cups on it. “Hello, boys,” she purred at them. “Are you lonesome tonight? How about letting me keep you company?”

Both men came to attention at the sight of her. “Well, hello, Nyota,” said the older man. “What’ve you got there?”

“Just a little something to help you stay awake. I know how boring guard duty gets. Especially when the captain is busy.” Her husky contralto voice made the word “busy” sound incredibly erotic. She smiled suggestively as she leaned forward, letting them get a good look at her breasts in the low-cut, tight fitting, sleeveless red uniform top. “I made this coffee myself, for me and Jim to have with dinner. Then he threw me over to have dinner with the captain.” She pouted prettily. “Now he’s in there having a good time and I’m out here, lonely and bored. I can’t drink all this coffee by myself, so you boys are just going to have to help me.”

“Well, if you insist.” He poured himself a cup of hot black coffee and toasted her with it. “Here’s to you, pretty lady.”

“Why, thank you.” She smiled at him with eyelids at half-mast, like a cat in heat enticing a tom. Turning towards the other man, she offered him the tray. “Don’t you want some of my coffee too?” she said sweetly, making it plain she had more than coffee in mind. Her smile became even more catlike when she saw how excited he was getting.

The second guard gulped. “Oh, sure!” He poured himself a cup of coffee, took a sip and commented, “Say, this is pretty good. Hot and black, yet sweet.”

“That’s how Jim likes his coffee,” Uhura informed him. “And his women,” she added suggestively.

“So how come he’s dining with the captain instead of you?”

“Oh, he’s just making nice with the captain to keep him from transferring me. Apparently Captain Pike thinks that Jim and I are getting too close,” she lied glibly. She knew very well that Pike considered her no threat. That was the only reason he tolerated her friendship with his lover. “And Jim likes having me around to kiss him and make it better.”

“Why does he put up with the captain knocking him around when he can have you to snuggle him?” the first man now asked.

“Two very good reasons,” she said as she swung towards him, sticking her chest out so he could see her assets. “One, he wants to be captain someday and he knows Pike won’t last forever. And two, he likes having the best of both worlds.”

“It doesn’t sound very fair to you, having to share your man with another man.” He took another sip of coffee and smiled suggestively at her. “If I had a woman who could make coffee like this, I’d be happy to sleep in her bed all the time.”

“If I was your woman, you wouldn’t sleep a wink all night. And it wouldn’t be because of the coffee.” She laughed throatily as she saw him respond to the lewd comment with an equally lewd grin. “What time do you get off duty, handsome? You and your friend can keep me company while Jim’s making nice with the captain.”

“B-But won’t Commander Kirk be, ah, upset,” the younger man stammered, “if he finds out you, uh-”

She leaned towards him and whispered playfully in his ear. “What Jim doesn’t know won’t hurt him. Besides, you need something to look forward to when you get off tonight. Like getting off tonight.”

The young man blushed, while his comrade laughed. Uhura continued trading suggestive comments with them as she poured more coffee. She even leaned against the older guard when he put his arm around her bare midriff, caressing her soft, dark flesh. She hated every minute of it, but she had to keep them occupied while the coffee took effect. The reason it tasted so sweet was because she had added half a bottle of coffee liquor to the pot, to hide the taste of the sleeping pills she’d also laced it with. If Jim made it out of the captain’s cabin alive, the guards would have to be drugged so that he could make a getaway, and give him scapegoats to take the blame when the captain’s body was found.

 _*Just get out of there alive, Jim, please!*_ she worried even as she laughed and flirted with the guards. _*Don’t let him beat you to the ground the way he always does. The stuff I put in this coffee should keep these guys out till midnight. By that time you should be well away. Oh, please let him get away safe!*_ She refilled their cups for a third time while one of them copped a feel of her buttocks. She resisted the urge to kick him in the groin and smiled enticingly at him, wondering how Jim was doing with Pike.

********

At that moment, Kirk’s enraged lover was demanding to know how he had hurt his left arm. So Kirk took a deep breath and, with a convincing show of reluctance, lied in his teeth.

“I got it down in Engineering, after I overheard some smartass making a comment about you. I challenged him, we fought, he lost. I’m afraid Scotty’s going to be shorthanded till we get a new engineering assistant.”

Pike’s hold on him relaxed as his anger dissolved. “You fought for me!” he said, regarding the younger man fondly. “How can you say it’s over when you’re still willing to fight for me?”

“I may not love you anymore, but you’re still my captain. I owe you my loyalty, at least,” Kirk said grudgingly.

“You owe me more than that, mister!” Pike said harshly. “What about all the times I saved your ass? Guarded your back in battle, and on board this ship too? There are plenty of guys on board who would love to take your place.”

“Yours, too,” Kirk reminded him. “I’ve saved your ass as often as you’ve saved mine, so we’re even. I don’t owe you anything, Chris.”

“You just said you owed me your loyalty,” Pike chided him, more gently then he had before. “Is that all you feel for me after all these years? Is it so easy for you to forget how I love you?”

“Chris, please-” Kirk looked away as he recognized the expression of dawning passion on Pike’s face. “Don’t make this harder on me than it already is. You don’t know how hard it was for me to see you tonight, to force myself to come here and tell you what I knew you wouldn’t want to hear...” He let a throb come into his voice to make it sound more convincingly grief-stricken.

“My poor baby.” Pike drew him into his arms and held him close. “You know you don’t really want to leave me. You couldn’t live without me.”

 _*Oh yes, I could!*_ Kirk thought furiously. _*You conceited ass, I had a life before I met you and I’ll have one after you’re gone! And I’ll share it with Spock!*_ He struggled half-heartedly to escape Pike’s embrace. “Let me go, Chris. It’s over, can’t you accept that?”

“No.” Pike held him tighter, lifting his chin with one hand so he could look into his eyes. “I’ll never accept it. I love you, James Kirk, and I always will. You’re mine forever. I’ll never stop loving you as long as I live.”

Kirk sighed and allowed himself to relax into the embrace, so that Pike would think he was weakening. Pike grinned triumphantly as he hugged him, thinking he had succeeded in conning his lover yet again. It was a good thing for Kirk that his face was pressed against the captain’s neck. Otherwise the sly expression on the younger man’s face would have given him away.

********

Outside the captain’s cabin, an argument broke out between the two guards over who would get to kiss Uhura first. She laughed as she stood off to one side, watching them fight over her. She could see the drugged coffee taking effect on them; their speech was slurred, their movements were jerky, and their postures were becoming more and more apelike.

 _*Just like all men,*_ she thought contemptuously. _*A little liquor, a little sex, and they turn into animals. Even the good ones just take longer about it. But at least they make sure you come first.*_

Eventually she got into a clinch with one, then the other, savoring each kiss, taking her time over it, letting them hold her closer than she would normally allow any man to do the first time he kissed her. She thought of her blood brother inside the captain’s cabin and wondered if he felt the same way she did, about going through the motions of passion with a man he didn’t care about.

_*Oh, Jim, we could have been so good together, you and I! But you were too much in love with Chris at first, and then you were too scared of what he’d do to me if we did become involved. As tough as you are, there’s a dangerous soft spot in your heart for anybody you care about. Chris knows about it too; he’s been twisting the knife in your heart for the longest time.*_

Her anger and contempt for Christopher Pike, and the way he treated her friend, made her kiss more roughly than usual. That got the guards even more excited. She had to tear herself away before it got out of hand. “Now, now, boys,” she scolded them playfully. “I think I’ve been here long enough. It’s time I retired, before you forget your duty.”

“Ah, come on, stick around!” they coaxed her. “The captain will never know. He’s gonna be busy all night with your boyfriend.”

 _*Oh, no he isn’t!*_ she thought smugly. “Sorry, boys, I have to be on duty by 0800 tomorrow. Whichever one of you is still awake by the end of your shift can come and kiss me good night.” She picked up the coffee tray and walked away swinging her hips, ignoring the pitiful groans and suggestive comments that followed her.

 _*So long, suckers. By this time tomorrow you’ll either be in the brig or on trial for dereliction of duty. If they even bother with a trial.*_ She stepped into the turbo lift feeling relieved that her part of the plot was over. Now if only Jim managed to get out alive...

********

By now Kirk was being thoroughly kissed by an aroused Pike, who was actually looking forward to having sex with him without any of the usual violence. He thought Kirk had finally learned his lesson and was willing to be more obedient, more deferential to his authority. Kirk had his arms wrapped around the captain’s neck and was slowly removing the little dagger from its’ sheath inside the bandage on his left wrist.

Pike rubbed his big hands over Kirk’s buttocks as he pressed their lower bodies together. “I love you, Jimmy,” he murmured fondly. “I’ll love you till I die.”

“I know you will,” Kirk said softly, watching the light gleaming off the wickedly sharp edge of the blade in his right hand. It tapered down to a point fine enough to cut veins with. “Good-bye, Chris. I loved you, but it wasn’t enough for either of us.” He gave Pike a final Judas kiss before he stuck the blade into his back.

Pike’s eyes got very wide as he felt the pain in his back. He tore his lips away from Kirk’s and gasped, “Jimmy! What are you doing?”

Kirk pulled out the dagger, drew back and stabbed him in the chest.

“Jimmy, don’t! Stop! Please!” Pike fell over backwards, begging for his life as Kirk fell on him and stabbed him over and over again. Blood spurted from his wounds onto Kirk’s hands, over his gold shirt, even on his face. It took Pike a long time to die, regretting every moment he had ever caused him pain. Even after he was dead, Kirk kept stabbing him, venting his rage over two years of continuous abuse until his arm got too tired to stab any more.

At last Kirk sank down beside him, catching his breath as sanity slowly returned to his fevered mind. Pike lay still and silent, blue eyes as wide and blank as a dead fish’s. Kirk brushed back the blond hair that had fallen into his eyes with a bloodstained hand, before leaning over him and saying softly, “Chris?”

The captain didn’t answer. Some of his wounds still bled sluggishly, but he didn’t move. Kirk called him again, more loudly this time. “Chris?” Still no answer. Just to make absolutely sure he was dead, Kirk drew the bloody blade across his throat. Then he got up and headed for the door.

Kirk braced himself for a fight before opening the door, in case Uhura had been unsuccessful. But she hadn’t been; both of Pike’s personal guards lay slumped on the deck outside the door in a drugged sleep. “Thank you, Nyota!” Kirk murmured as he stepped outside. He paused to wipe the blade on the shirt of the nearest guard, chuckling to himself as he pictured the man’s dismay upon awakening.

He was still laughing as he walked away; reaction from the murder was starting to set in. He was lucky not to meet anybody on his brief journey to Spock’s quarters. The sight of him staggering down the corridor in his bloodstained shirt, laughing to himself as he clutched a bloody dagger in his bloody hand, would have scared the hell out of the most battle-hardened member of the ENTERPRISE.

********

Spock paced his cabin restlessly, his bodyguard watching him silently from his seat in the corner by the door. He did not need to ask what was bothering him; he had sensed the change in his master after Spock returned from visiting his human friend in Sickbay yesterday. His only feeling about Spock bonding with another male was one of mild surprise that it had taken him so long to find a compatible mate. He’d known about Spock’s predilection since their mutual adolescence, when the first stirrings of _pon far_ had not awakened in Spock any desire to get to know his promised bride better. Sardo thought it a shame that his master’s fancy should have fallen on one who was already tied to another. But that little problem should have been taken care of by now, if the human’s courage had not failed him.

“Shall I go look for him, sir?” Sardo now asked.

“No, remain here,” Spock ordered him. “I do not wish you to become involved in this matter until after James has taken refuge here. Then it will be your duty to protect him, as well as myself.”

“As you wish.” Sardo remained seated, arms folded over his chest.

Spock became more and more concerned as the minutes ticked by with no sign of Kirk. Had Pike proven tougher to kill than they both thought? Had he killed Kirk himself, or turned him over to Security to be tortured in the Agony Booth? Spock was prepared to die to defend his Chosen One. He only hoped it would not be necessary for either of them to die. He was so looking forward to them being intimate for the first time.

Sardo sprang to his feet as his sharp ears caught the sound of footsteps outside the door. “Sir, someone approaches!”

Spock ran to the door and stood beside him, waiting breathlessly. The footsteps stopped right outside, followed by a heavy thud as something fell against the door. A hoarse voice came over the intercom. “Spock, it’s me! Let me in!” Sardo immediately pressed the “door open” button. When it opened, Kirk literally fell into Spock’s arms.

“Jim, are you all right?” Spock asked as Sardo quickly closed the door. “There is much blood on you.”

“Not my own,” Kirk replied, a dazed look on his face.

“Is it done, then?” Spock demanded. “Is Captain Pike dead?”

Kirk nodded and held out his hands before him. They were covered with blood, the little dagger still clutched in his right fist. He stared at his hands muttering, “Who would have thought he had so much blood in him?”

“Sardo, bring water to wash him with,” Spock ordered. Sardo hastened to obey. While he was in the bathroom, Spock helped Kirk over to a chair and made him sit down. He knelt before him, speaking to him soothingly. “A little water shall soon cleanse you of this blood, _T’hy’la_. As for the blood guilt, that can be ritually cleansed from you on Vulcan, before we undergo the bonding ceremony. You will be forgiven for killing Pike because he was abusing you. He dishonored your bond with violence and you had to wash away the stain of dishonor with his blood. That was the only way, _T’hy’la_.”

His soothing words went right over Kirk’s head; he just kept staring at his bloody hands as the full realization of what he had done sank into him. He had killed his abusive lover. He had dreamed of doing it for so long, but never thought he had the courage. Spock’s love had given him that courage. He was finally free of Chris and his cruelty, free to love Spock and accept the love he offered. But would Spock still want him, knowing he was capable of such treachery? “Spock,” he said shakily, still staring at his bloodstained hands, “do you still want me?”

“Of course I do,” Spock assured him. “Is that not why we did this?”

“We didn’t do this. I did. We may have planned it together, but I’m the one who actually did it. I killed my lover. How can you trust me, knowing I’m capable of such a thing?”

“He deserved to die. You did what had to be done to sever the bond he refused to break willingly.” Sardo had come out of the bathroom with a basin of warm water, a small sponge and a towel, but kept his distance while his master calmed the distraught human. “You did make every effort to break the bond nonviolently,” Spock reminded Kirk. “You told him you no longer desired him, even attempted to leave him, but he compelled you to return, beat you and forced himself upon you. No Vulcan would ever tolerate such treatment from a bondmate. Vulcan women have even killed their husbands and gone unpunished, once they proved that their husbands had brought it on themselves by their extreme cruelty.”

Kirk finally looked him in the face. “So you’re not afraid of bonding with someone who’s capable of killing his bondmate?”

“No, because I do not intend to do anything which may compel you to kill me as well.”

“Don’t you believe that he who betrays one lover may betray another?”

“Did Christopher Pike not betray you first? Did he not vow to love and care for you?”

“Yes,” Kirk whispered, closing his eyes as he felt the tears beginning to flow. “He promised me he would always love me and care for me. I trusted him to protect me. How was I to know he would be the one I needed protection from?”

Spock allowed him to cry for a few moments before gently wiping his tears away. “That is all over now. You are free of him and it is now my duty to protect you. If you still wish to bond with me?”

“Oh, God, yes!” Kirk hastened to assure him, feeling ashamed of himself for crying in front of this man, who was brave enough to love him in spite of what he’d done.

“Do you require a period of solitude to mourn for him?”

“No, I’m not a hypocrite. All I’d be mourning for is the slow death of our love. That started to die the first time he hit me. It finally died tonight, when I paid him back for every time he ever beat me and raped me. If you still want me, Spock, I’m yours.”

Spock nodded and gestured to Sardo to bring the basin. As soon as he had done so, Spock ordered him outside to guard the door. When they were alone together, Spock washed the blood off of Kirk’s hands, dabbing the small sponge into the basin, wringing it out, then dabbing it over the human’s hands. The blood was already beginning to dry, making the dagger stick to his fingers. As soon as Spock washed the blood off, it came loose. He laid it aside and kept washing away evidence of murder from his Chosen One’s hands. Some of the blood got on his hands as well, causing Kirk to remark half humorously, “Looks as if we’re really blood brothers now.”

“Indeed.” Spock’s one word comment was all he uttered as he continued to wash him clean. He wiped the blood off of Kirk’s face and out of his hair too. When he was finished, the water in the basin was dyed red. Spock then wiped him dry with the towel, lingering over his face until Kirk leaned forward to kiss him.

They kissed and held each other until Spock remembered his duty to protect his new mate. He pulled himself reluctantly out of Kirk’s arms and stood up. “I must dispose of this, _T’hy’la_ ,” he said, picking up the basin full of bloody water. “You must also dispose of that shirt and sash you have on. They are covered with blood. Fortunately, I procured fresh ones for you beforehand.”

“Thanks.” Kirk proceeded to remove his shirt. Spock hastily left the room, afraid that the sight of Kirk’s bare chest would further erode his rapidly crumpling self-control.

When he got back, he found Kirk wearing only his black uniform trousers and boots. His gold shirt and sash lay in a heap on the chair, the bloodstains plainly evident on both. Kirk was busy trying to remove the bandage from his left forearm, his brows knitted together in a frown of concentration.

“Let me help you,” Spock said. He took the arm Kirk held out to him and concentrated only on this particular part of his anatomy as he unwrapped the bandage. Some of the fine, golden hairs on Kirk’s arm came off along with the bandage, but Kirk showed no sign of discomfort, though Spock was sure it must be painful for him. When the bandage was off, Spock peeled the dagger’s sheath from it and replaced the diminutive weapon inside. He then picked up the bloodstained shirt and sash, rolled them into a bundle and started to stick the dagger inside.

“Wait!” Kirk told him. “Don’t throw the dagger away!”

“Why not?”

“Because you gave it to me. I want to keep it.” Kirk was embarrassed to be so sentimental, but he really wanted to hang on to the first gift Spock had ever given him.

“So that you may use it on your future bondmate?” Spock queried, with what sounded like a hint of humor.

“Only if he treats me like the first one did,” Kirk said with a grin. “Come on, Spock, let me have it,” he coaxed him. “It means a lot to me. Consider it a wedding present.”

Put that way, Spock could not refuse him. After all, it was customary for bondmates to exchange gifts along with their vows. He gave the dagger back to Kirk and watched him admire the way the light played off the keen edge of the finely honed blade. He looked up from it to say, “Thank you, Spock,” eyes shining with love.

“You are welcome,” Spock said, adding, “I hope to give you better gifts after we have bonded on Vulcan.”

“I thought we were going to bond tonight?” Kirk looked upset at the thought of having to wait any longer for Spock’s love.

“No, tonight is only for ourselves. There is a formal ceremony that must take place before witnesses if our bond is to be legally recognized. I do not wish to keep our relationship a secret, as Pike did.”

“No, I don’t ever want you to do anything that he did.” Kirk shuddered at the thought.

“I promise you that I shall never do anything to you that Pike did,” Spock said solemnly. “You will be safe with me, Jim.”

“I knew that the first time I saw you.” Kirk stared at him longingly as he spoke, his voice roughened with passion. “I think I started wanting you the first day we met, as soon as I realized how different you were from Chris. I felt safe with you. So much so that I wanted to stay with you all day. If I wasn’t so scared of Chris, I would have tried to stay with you all night as well.”

“If you had, I would have been forced to reject you,” Spock told him gently. “Not for lack of desire, but for honor’s sake. No true warrior would ever lie with someone else’s mate, while that one still lives.”

“You mean, if I had approached you back then, we might have been able to get rid of Chris sooner?”

“True. But let us not lament our wasted opportunity, Jim. Rather, let us make the most of what we have now.”

“Yes, let’s,” Kirk agreed, tossing the dagger on the chair so he could take him in his arms.

Spock shifted the bundle he held under one arm so that he could hug him with the other arm. The feel of his hard body through the blue uniform shirt made Kirk long for more physical contact. He untied Spock’s gold uniform sash, let it fall to the floor and slipped his hands beneath Spock’s shirt, stroking the firm, flat abdomen, working his way up to the chest. He felt as well as heard Spock moan, deep in his chest, as he pulled him closer. He started kissing Spock while continuing to caress him beneath the blue shirt.

Spock had to push him away before it went any further. “I must dispose of this,” he said, rather breathlessly, indicating the bundled up shirt and sash. “When I come back, we may resume.”

“Hurry!” Kirk told him impatiently. As Spock left the room, Kirk went over to the gilded privacy screen in the corner, found the bed and sat down on it to pull his boots and socks off. When he took his pants off, his cock was a hard bulge inside his black briefs. Even his nipples were hard. He was amazed at how horny he was. He hadn’t been this eager to make love in a long time. Not since Chris-He shut down cold at the thought of Chris, remembering how his gentle lovemaking had gradually deteriorated into violence.

 _*He’s dead, he’ll never hurt me again,*_ Kirk reminded himself. _*He can’t kill me for having another man either, the way he always said he would. Spock and I can be lovers in body, as well as in mind. He loves me and I love him. Why shouldn’t we be lovers?*_ Something he’d heard about Vulcans came back to haunt him. Was it true they were only sexually active every seven years? If so, then what did Spock intend to do with him tonight? Lie with him, yes, he certainly seemed eager to do so. But was he capable of mating with him physically? Or could they only join minds, not bodies? He’d enjoyed the mental rapport they shared in Sickbay, the delicious fantasy of them lying in bed together, kissing and petting. But his passionate human nature demanded more than just these innocent pleasures. He longed to feel Spock inside of him, entering his body as deeply as he entered his mind. Spock just had to make love to him the way he was used to making love. Perhaps he could show him how? Spock had said he was inexperienced in sexual matters, that he was looking forward to learning about them from Kirk.

“Jim?” He heard Spock’s voice on the other side of the privacy screen. “Where are you?”

“Here, Spock!” Kirk called “Waiting for you!” He lay down on the bed, stroking his erection through his briefs. _*Please let it be the way I dreamed about. I want to love him so bad...*_

The subdued red lighting in the cabin became even lower as Spock turned it down. Kirk heard him approaching the bed and suddenly felt very nervous. He put his brave face on, trusting Spock not to hurt him at least. If they couldn’t make love the way he was used to, at least they could be together tonight, warm and safe in each other’s arms. 

Spock sat down beside him on the bed, studying him intently by the dim glow of the firepot beast on the shelf beside the bed. “I have waited for this moment for so long,” he said, laying one hand on the human’s breast.

“You don’t have to wait any longer.” Kirk put his hand on top of Spock’s where it lay warm on his breast. Surprisingly warm; it felt as if the Vulcan were feverish. Kirk dismissed it as a product of his own fevered imagination. “I’m ready to give myself to you.”

“Are you sure? I know you are completely healed inside, but if you are still unready emotionally, your unconscious resistance may cause you pain. I am reluctant to do anything that may cause you pain,” Spock told him earnestly.

“I want this, Spock,” Kirk assured him. “I want you. It’s been so long since I’ve been able to say yes or no for myself. Chris never gave me any choice. We always had sex whenever he wanted, whether I felt like it or not. If I said no, I got another beating. After a while I just let him do whatever he wanted, to keep him from hurting me. Then he started hurting me in bed, too.” An anguished look came over his face as he remembered some of the things he’d had to put up with to avoid a beating.

“You need not lie with me tonight, if it is not your wish,” Spock told him gently. “I will never force intimacy upon you, no matter how great my need may be.”

Kirk lifted Spock’s hand to his mouth and kissed it. “Do whatever you want with me tonight, Spock. Just try not to hurt me too much.”

Touched by this gesture of trust, Spock held him tenderly for a few moments before getting up and removing his clothes. When he was naked, he lay down beside him and took him into his arms. Kirk was surprised to find that the rest of his body felt as hot as his hand.

“Spock, are you sick? You feel like you have a fever,” Kirk said as he ran his hands over Spock’s body.

“No, I am not sick. You are simply unaccustomed to a Vulcan’s higher body temperature. I shall hold you until you get used to it.” Spock held him close, letting him feel his warmth.

That was all right with Kirk. He lay beside Spock happily, holding and touching him freely. Spock began caressing him too, tentatively at first, then more boldly as he became aroused. They took their time exploring each other’s bodies, living out the fantasy Spock had projected into Kirk’s mind while they were in the healing meld. Kirk gradually became accustomed to his higher body temperature, enjoying the extra warmth against his bare skin. He also enjoyed the feel of hard muscle beneath his roving hands. The fine, black hairs on Spock’s chest felt softer than the hair on Chris’ chest too. He also smelled better. The pungent odor of stale alcohol that frequently hung about Chris was missing from Spock. All Kirk smelled was his own natural body odor, a clean, healthy, masculine smell beneath the masking scent of his antiperspirant. Kirk sighed with pleasure as he hugged him, bringing a smile to Spock’s solemn face.

“Do you feel comfortable with me yet?” Spock asked.

“Oh yes, very comfortable.” Kirk was almost purring.

“Good.” Without further ado, Spock kissed him. They kissed and caressed for a long, lovely time that seemed to go by much too fast, before Spock began fondling Kirk’s erection through his briefs. “Why did you leave these on?” Spock asked, puzzled.

“So you could take them off,” Kirk said with a smile. “I thought it would seem more like a gift if you had to unwrap it.”

“As if I didn’t know already what a precious gift you are giving me!” Spock said in loving reproach. He peeled off Kirk’s underwear and dropped it by the side of the bed with the rest of their clothing. After stroking the generous, pink-hued erection long enough to make Kirk moan happily, and cause a drop of pre-ejaculate fluid to appear at the head, Spock took it into his mouth.

Kirk gasped in surprise and pleasure. This was something he was more accustomed to giving than receiving. The few times Pike had gone down on him, it was only as a preliminary to what Pike considered real sex, namely his own satisfaction. He seldom made Kirk come this way, preferring to have him climax as a result of Pike thrusting into his ass. As their sex life got rougher and rougher, the only climax Pike cared about was his own. But Spock seemed determined to put Kirk’s pleasure first. He kept sucking until Kirk’s cock burst into his mouth. He swallowed every drop, relishing the sweet-salty taste, as Kirk lay there moaning and groaning with pleasure.

They lay together quietly afterwards, Spock’s head resting on Kirk’s belly. Kirk ran his fingers through the Vulcan’s black hair, thankful that he didn’t need coaching in this, at least. “I thought you said you had no experience?” he said teasingly.

“I am a devotee of erotic literature,” Spock admitted, his voice languid with pleasure. “But I have never had the opportunity to practice what I studied. Until now.”

“You must be a natural.” Kirk kept stroking his hair as he savored his first orgasm in ages. “Is there anything else you feel like practicing?”

“Only if you are willing,” Spock said slowly. “I know it cannot be easy for you, having been raped so recently.”

“You didn’t rape me,” Kirk told him fondly. “So if you want to fuck me, I’ll let you.”

Spock looked up at him gravely. “I do not wish to impose on you. Would you rather wait until you feel ready?”

“I’m ready now, Spock. Really, I’m okay with this. I know you’re not going to hurt me. Not intentionally, anyway.” Kirk added this qualifier as he remembered the size of Spock’s organ. He’d be a fool to expect it to be painless, especially with a first timer who’d have to be coached through it. But he’d given his word that he would give himself to Spock in return for his help in slaying Pike. Spock had kept his part of the bargain, now it was his turn.

“As long as you are sure...” Spock slowly climbed up on his body until he was eye to eye with Kirk. He lay holding him for a while, looking into his face for any sign of fear or reluctance. Kirk returned his look with a look full of affection. Grateful to see that he was willing, Spock hugged him close before asking shyly, “Exactly how do you want me to do this? I understand that there are two basic positions.”

“This way is fine,” Kirk said, stroking his face lovingly. “I want to see you while we do it. So I’ll know it’s not Chris.” Pike had seldom taken him face to face, preferring to show his dominance over Kirk by taking him face down. Even when they started kissing face to face, they always seemed to end up with Kirk on his belly and Pike on top. He would never allow Kirk on top except to give him head. Letting Kirk fuck him was also out of the question.

Spock reached for the tube of lubricant on the shelf at the head of the bed. As he uncapped it, Kirk suddenly said, “Let me do it.”

“As you wish.” Spock handed him the tube and rolled onto his right side to make it easier for him. Squeezing out a generous amount, Kirk applied it to the Vulcan’s erect, green-hued organ, which seemed to become harder as he stroked it. Spock sighed with pleasure, bringing a smile to Kirk’s face. He took his time anointing him, making Spock restless with anticipation. “Jim, please-do not tease me. I cannot control-much longer,” he warned him breathlessly.

Kirk took his hand off the now slickly coated erection and replaced the tube on the shelf. He then lay on his back, brought his knees up to his chest and spread his legs, urging Spock to lie between them. They spent a few awkward moments getting into the right position. “Just take it slow,” Kirk told him. “No need to hurry. We have all night.” He hissed as he felt the large glans enter him. Spock stopped, thinking he was hurting him. “It’s okay, keep going,” Kirk urged him. He tried to keep quiet so he wouldn’t scare Spock off, but he couldn’t help making more soft sounds as he was penetrated further. Most of them were sounds of pleasure. There was some pain too, but at least it was bearable, like the ache of a muscle being exercised after a long period of disuse.

Spock entered him slowly, hardly daring to breathe, expecting his cock to meet resistance at any moment. If Jim should choose this moment to resist, it would go hard on them both. He couldn’t possibly hold back now. He didn’t want to hurt Jim; he wanted to give him all the satisfaction that Pike had denied him. Even if it cost him his own satisfaction, he was determined to see that Jim didn’t regret his decision to rid himself of Pike. The deeper he went, the more excited he became. The soft sounds of pleasure Jim was making gradually became louder, mixed with whimpers of pain. Spock longed to thrust into him like a sword into its sheath, but didn’t dare do anything that might hurt or frighten his beloved. He just kept on pressing forward until his entire length was sheathed inside the hot, tight passage. Once it was all in, he waited, resting his weight on his hands, for Jim to become accustomed to it before daring to withdraw, as slowly as he entered.

Kirk was so turned on by now, he longed for Spock to fuck him harder and faster. He thought it was only inexperience making him go so slow, until he realized that Spock was deliberately being gentle with him to make up for the cruelty he had suffered at Pike’s hands. “Oh, please!” he groaned. “Don’t be so gentle! Fuck me harder! Harder!”

Spock hesitated, caught between his own need and his desire to please his lover. “Come on, Spock!” Kirk urged him as he hugged him tighter. “Fuck me hard! That’s how I like it. Not rough, just hard.”

So Spock complied, doing his best to give him what he wanted. The soft sounds of pleasure Kirk was making became louder and louder, until he was nearly screaming as he clawed at Spock’s back, urging him on. “Yes, yes! That’s how I like it! Hard, hard! Fuck me hard! Oh, please! Give it to me! Ahhh!” He felt another orgasm building up inside him as he urged Spock on. He kept begging for more, until the repeated forceful thrusting finally pushed him over the edge.

He let out one final cry of joy as Spock pressed his fingers against the side of his face. As he came, he felt Spock in him mentally as well as physically, and rejoiced to feel him there. He knew Spock was coming too, he could feel the other man’s orgasm rippling through his body, just like he knew Spock could feel his orgasm. The pleasure was so intense, he nearly fainted. But Spock wouldn’t let him lose consciousness until they were both satisfied. Then they both passed out, calling each other’s names silently as they slipped into the darkness together.

********

It was 2330 hours when Lieutenant Sulu, head of Security, accompanied by two security guards, arrived at Spock’s cabin. They found Sardo on guard duty outside the door. The muscular young Vulcan looked down at the diminutive Oriental from his lofty height and said, “Yes?” in that maddeningly polite but bored way that most Vulcans addressed humans.

“Is Mr. Spock in?” Sulu demanded.

“Not to visitors,” Sardo replied.

“This is not a social call!” Sulu snapped. “Captain Pike has been murdered and we have to account for every ranking officer on board!”

“Really?” Sardo didn’t seem at all concerned. “How unfortunate. I’m sure my master will be willing to answer all your questions in the morning.”

“I want to talk to him NOW, Mister!” Sulu had to stand on tiptoe to yell in the Vulcan’s face.

“I regret that will not be possible. My master has already retired for the night.”

“Well, wake him up! This is more important than your master’s beauty sleep!”

“Lower your voice, Human,” Sardo said coldly. “My master is not to be disturbed by the likes of you. If you wish to discover the murderer of your captain, I suggest you look elsewhere. He, at least, is above suspicion, having been in his cabin since 2000 hours.”

“Really?” Sulu sneered, mimicking the Vulcan’s cultured tones. “Well, then, I’m sure he won’t mind confirming that fact. Now step aside!”

Sardo didn’t move a muscle, except for the big hand he put on Sulu’s neck. “How would you like to go to sleep for a few hours, little Human?” he asked pleasantly. “Or perhaps forever? It depends on how hard I have to pinch you.”

Sulu gulped as he felt the strong fingers gently pinching the skin at the side of his neck. The other two guards drew their phasers, but hesitated to use them. They waited for Sulu or Sardo to make a move. Getting his temper under control, Sulu addressed the Vulcan more politely, almost meekly. “Would you please inform your master that we wish to speak to him about the captain’s murder?”

Sardo nodded approvingly. “That is much better. Do you stay outside while I awaken him.” He turned and went into the science officer’s cabin, the door whooshing open and shut only long enough to admit him.

Sulu waited, gritting his teeth, his men hiding their amusement at the sight of his frustration. Minutes later, the door opened and Sardo reappeared. “You may come in, gentlemen,” he informed them.

The three humans entered the dimly lit cabin and found Spock, dressed in a black silk robe embroidered in silver, standing in the middle of the room. “Good evening, Mr. Sulu,” Spock greeted him, looking remarkably alert for someone who had just been awakened from a sound sleep. “Sardo tells me you are investigating a murder?”

“Yes, Mr. Spock. The captain is dead. He was found in his quarters only minutes ago, stabbed numerous times. Doctor McCoy says he’s been dead at least an hour. His guards have been drugged. And nobody knows where the first officer is.”

“Really?” Spock didn’t seem at all disturbed by the news of the captain’s death or the disappearance of Kirk. “Are you suggesting that Commander Kirk’s disappearance may have something to do with the captain’s murder?”

“Either that or he’s fallen victim to the same murderer.” Sulu smiled innocently as he added, “Naturally I’m concerned for his welfare, since he’s next in line for the captaincy. So I’ve ordered a shipwide search for him, to detain him for his own safety till the murderer is found. I must also ask you, sir, to remain in the safety of your own cabin until we’ve found Commander Kirk.”

Spock eyed the smiling human with distaste. It was completely out of character for Sulu to be so concerned about Kirk’s welfare. He guessed that his real motive for locating Kirk was to kill him before he could declare himself captain, keeping Spock imprisoned in his cabin to prevent him from finding Kirk first and warning him. “You could have saved yourself the trouble of a shipwide search, Mr. Sulu. I happen to know perfectly well where Commander Kirk is.” Spock turned his head and called out, “Jim! Would you come out here, please?”

Kirk emerged from behind the privacy screen, wearing one of Spock’s silk robes, a red one embroidered with gold. “Good evening, Mr. Sulu. How may I help you?” he asked.

Sulu’s eyes nearly popped out of his head. The first officer wore a smug, satisfied expression that gave Sulu a pretty good idea of what he and Spock had been doing for the last hour or so. _*Of course he would come here to hide after killing Pike!*_ Sulu thought disgustedly. He was so disappointed at not finding Kirk alone in some remote part of the ship, so his mutilated body could be produced shortly thereafter as evidence that he had fallen victim to the same murderer as Pike. Then he, Sulu, could have been captain. Putting aside his disappointment, as well as his astonishment at finding Kirk in such a compromising position, he did his duty.

“Sir, are you aware that Captain Pike has been murdered?” Sulu notified him formally of the death.

“Yes, Mr. Sulu, I heard everything you said. I assume you’re here to ask me to take command?”

“You are second in command,” Sulu admitted, a bit sullenly, “so that makes you the captain now.” Hoping to salvage something out of his stillborn _coup d’etat_ , he added in his most ingratiating tone of voice, “You’ll be needing a new first officer, sir. As head of Security, I do have seniority-”

“I’m well aware of your qualifications, Mr. Sulu,” Kirk interrupted him smoothly. “Which is why I’m not choosing you. I’d rather my first officer be someone I can trust.” He looked fondly at Spock.

Sulu swallowed his disappointment for the second time that night. _*Naturally our new captain would prefer his new favorite to be second in command,*_ he thought, eyeing Spock in a most unfriendly way. Spock gave him a look of his own, which warned Sulu to watch his back as carefully as Spock would be watching his from now on. * _Well, at least Uhura won’t get to be the captain’s woman either*,_ Sulu consoled himself, thinking it would be easier to get into her pants now that Kirk no longer needed her to hide behind.

“What about Chris’ guards?” Kirk now asked. “The ones who were on duty tonight?”

“They’re in the brig, sir. Apparently they were both drugged to give the murderer easier access to the captain.”

“I want them executed immediately for dereliction of duty,” Kirk ordered. “I want no guards who can be duped so easily.” _*Nor any who can betray Uhura!*_ he added silently to himself.

“Yes, sir. Anything else?”

“Yes, please see that the captain’s cabin is cleaned and made ready for me to move into tomorrow. I’ve made other arrangements for tonight.” Kirk smiled at Spock again.

“Very well, sir.” Sulu exited as gracefully as possible, giving Spock one last evil look in passing. The two men with him, who had been held motionless by Sardo’s gaze like a pair of frightened birds by a cat’s hypnotic stare, finally broke eye contact with the intimidating Vulcan and followed Sulu out, rather hastily. So hastily that Sulu’s voice could be heard out in the corridor reprimanding them for bumping into him, very loudly and profanely.

Sardo turned to his master and shared a look of amusement with him and Kirk. “Shall I withdraw now too, sir?”

“Yes, Sardo. See that no one else disturbs us for the rest of the night.”

“Yes, sir.” Sardo exited, leaving Spock and Kirk alone together. Moments later, they were in each other’s arms, kissing passionately.

PART THREE

By morning, everyone on board knew about the change in command. Not surprisingly, Christopher Pike had few mourners. Even those who had been his favorites mentally wished him in hell as they congratulated his successor out loud. Spock’s promotion to first officer came as no surprise, once it became known that he was now the captain’s favorite. The more conservative Vulcans weren’t the only ones disturbed by this news. Doctor McCoy expressed his misgivings to Kirk at the first opportunity.

“Jim, are you serious about Spock?” the doctor demanded that evening in the captain’s cabin.

“Of course I am,” said the new captain as he poured him a brandy from behind the old captain’s desk. “I made him my first officer, didn’t I?”

“Fine, promote him as high as you want to. You’re the captain now. But if you want to stay that way, don’t let him share your bed on a regular basis.”

“Why not?” Kirk demanded. “He treats me a hell of a lot better than Chris did. He helped me get rid of the son of a bitch, too. He may have saved my life, Bones. You said yourself it was only a matter of time before Chris killed me. Now I’m free, and I’m captain, and I owe it all to Spock.”

McCoy leaned across the desk, getting right into Kirk’s face. “And just what do you think he’s going to want as payment?” he demanded harshly.

“I know what he wants; I’ve already given it to him. Don’t tell me you’re jealous, Bones? I didn’t know you cared,” Kirk teased him.

“Of course I do! But it’s not your body I’m worried about. It’s your mind!”

“My mind?” Kirk’s eyebrows went up as his amber eyes widened. “Would you care to explain yourself, Doctor?”

“Gladly!” McCoy sat down, took a good swig of his brandy and fixed his captain with a worried frown. “You know how Vulcans mate, that they require a mental bond with their partners as well as physical union?”

“Yes, I know that mind melding is part of the mating act for all Vulcans,” Kirk said impatiently.

“Did you also know that their version of marriage consists of a permanent mental bond? That this bond is irreversible, unbreakable, for as long as you both shall live? That it enables him to read your mind, to know what you’re thinking and feeling? To control you more completely than Chris did? And through you, the ENTERPRISE?”

Kirk stared at him unbelievingly. “Bones, are you suggesting that Spock would try to dominate me mentally? Just so he can run the ENTERPRISE through me?”

“Why not? It’s probably the closest he’ll ever get to being a captain himself! You know how Starfleet feels about nonhumans as captains. No Vulcan in the history of the fleet has ever been a captain, and never will as long as we humans are in charge.” In his own way, McCoy was as bigoted as his great-grandfather had been. He honestly believed that humans were superior to every other race in the galaxy, and that the ENTERPRISE was in danger of being taken over by an alien indirectly. “Jim, you’re my friend, my blood brother. You know there’s nothing I’d like better than to see you happy. If this Vulcan makes you happy, by all means let him share your bed every now and then. But don’t make him your favorite or else he’ll want to bond with you. And once he does, you’ll be trapped. He’ll have you under his thumb more completely than Chris ever did. He won’t even have to lift a finger to make you obey, just put his own thoughts into your head and let you think they’re your thoughts.”

“But Spock has no ambition to command! He told me so!”

“Of course he did! How else could he gain your confidence? I’m telling you, Jim, that pointy-eared bastard is going to take over the ENTERPRISE through you. Don’t let him! You’ve been Pike’s man for ten years. Now you’ve finally got a chance to be your own man. Are you going to throw it away for the love of an alien?”

“But he loves me,” Kirk protested. “And I promised him we’d bond once Chris was gone.”

McCoy pounced on that. “Aha! What did I tell you? He may say he loves you, but I doubt if those cold-blooded creatures are capable of feeling anything outside of their regular mating season. I think he told you what you wanted to hear, so you would be willing to bond with him. He even helped you kill Chris so you’d be so grateful, you couldn’t possibly refuse!”

“But he does love me! I can feel it!” Kirk insisted, remembering the intense passion, the pleasure they shared through the mindmeld at the moment of their mutual climax.

“He’s playing mind games with you, Jim. Vulcans are very good at that. He doesn’t want your love, he wants the ENTERPRISE. And since he can’t have it directly, he’ll get it through you. Once you’re under his control, you’ll be captain in name only. And the sad part is, you won’t even know it. You’ll be so brainwashed, you’ll think everything you say and do will be your own idea.”

“I don’t have to listen to this!” Kirk declared angrily. “You’re no expert on Vulcans, how do you know they use their mental powers to control their partners? You’re not exactly unbiased where Vulcans are concerned, either. How do I know you’re not making all this up to destroy my confidence in Spock? Because you hate Vulcans and can’t stand to see one in a position of authority! Especially one so close to the captain!”

“Damn it, Jim, I’m trying to save you from making the biggest mistake of your life!” McCoy yelled. “I’m not the only human on board who thinks Spock is going to run the ENTERPRISE through you! Why do you think the other Vulcans disapprove of your relationship with him? Because they think he’d make a much better captain than you! Being the power behind the throne is never as satisfying as being on the throne itself. How long will it take for him to dispose of you the way you disposed of Chris, so that he can be captain in name as well as fact?”

“Get out!” Kirk ordered, rising to his feet. “Get out before I throw you out!”

“Okay, I’m out of here!” McCoy got up and headed for the door. “You just remember what I said, Jim,” he told him over one shoulder. “Don’t let him bond with you or you’ll never be your own man again.”

“Shut up! I don’t want to hear another goddamn word out of you about Spock! And if you go around repeating this nonsense to anybody else, I’ll have you executed for inciting mutiny!”

“Against who? You or Captain Spock?” McCoy taunted him.

Kirk seized the brandy glass the doctor had been drinking from and hurled it at him. McCoy ducked as it flew past him, shattering against the bulkhead beside the door. Shaken by this evidence of the captain’s displeasure, McCoy got out of there quickly.

Kirk paced back and forth the whole length of the cabin, clenching his fists as he cursed McCoy. How dare he accuse Spock of such things! The only friend who loved him enough to free him from Chris! None of his other friends had even dared to suggest freeing himself this way. Cowards, all of them! Jealous fools too, thinking he’d let anybody control him again after what Chris had put him through. He’d show them all, he’d keep Spock at his side day and night to prove his confidence in him. By the time he calmed down, he became aware that someone was trying to contact him through the intercom on the door.

“Yes, what is it?” Kirk snapped at the speaker.

“Excuse me, sir,” said one of his new handpicked personal guards, “but Mr. Spock is here.”

“Send him in immediately!” Kirk ordered.

The door opened and Spock entered. “Good evening, Captain Kirk,” he said, addressing him by his new title with a great deal of satisfaction, “I understand you wished to see me?”

“Ah, yes, Mr. Spock. I want to discuss your new duties with you. Please make sure we’re not disturbed for the rest of the evening,” Kirk told his guards.

“Yes, sir,” they dutifully replied. Neither of them dared to let on what they thought the new captain and his first officer were really going to be “discussing”. Spock waited until the door had closed behind him before approaching Kirk. When they stood face to face, Spock silently held out his right hand with two fingers extended.

Kirk touched his outstretched fingers with two of his own, caressing them lovingly. He could feel Spock’s love for him though the telepathic embrace, as warm as a summer breeze, as comforting as a physical embrace. _*I love you,*_ he told Spock silently, looking into his eyes with all his feelings showing in his own eyes.

 _*I cherish thee,*_ Spock told him mentally, giving him a look smoldering with desire.

That look was enough to make Kirk take him in his arms. “Oh, Spock, I do love you!” he whispered, desperate for some show of affection from his Vulcan lover to prove McCoy wrong.

Spock held him tight, loosening his grip when he heard Kirk give a little gasp of pain, hugging him gently by way of apology. Kirk made a curious sound, between a sob and a sigh of pleasure, as he nestled in his lover’s arms. After a while he reached up, pulled Spock’s head down and kissed him. Spock savored the kiss, enjoying it for its own sake as much as a prelude to intimacy. When Kirk broke the kiss off and led him to the bed, he went without protest. He allowed Kirk to push him back onto the bed and lie on top of him, kissing and caressing him as if he were afraid Spock would vanish any moment. He let Kirk do whatever he wanted, putting himself in his power as completely as Kirk had been in his the night before.

Eventually Spock lay naked beneath him with his knees pressed to his chest while a naked, aroused Kirk took him gently, repaying Spock’s tenderness of last night. Despite his gentleness, there was some pain as Spock was taken for the first time. But he was willing to endure any amount of pain for the sake of this man. Spock welcomed him into his body, encouraging his lover with soft sounds of pleasure to take him as hard as he wanted. He was surprised to find the human so strong, strong enough to make him come sooner than he expected. Hearing Spock moaning, watching him writhe in pleasure beneath him, caused Kirk to come as well.

They lay in each other’s arms afterwards, silently rejoicing in their love. Kirk’s head lay pillowed on Spock’s hairy chest, while Spock ran his fingers through sandy blond human hair. Neither could believe he was lucky enough to have found the other. Lying together like this, it was impossible for Kirk to believe McCoy’s ominous words of warning. But the seed of suspicion had been planted in Kirk’s heart and it began to sprout with Spock’s next words to him.

“How much better this will be once we have bonded,” Spock sighed. “Then we shall be inseparable in mind and body.”

Kirk’s eyelids flew open at once. His eyes narrowed suspiciously as he studied his supine lover, lying beneath him relaxed and trusting, all willingness to please. Or was he only baiting the trap with this seeming willingness? Careful not to betray his newfound suspicion, Kirk said casually, “What exactly does bonding involved, anyway? I know it has something to do with mind melding, but is it really necessary for us to be lovers?”

“We can be intimate on a purely physical level, but in order to have a truly committed relationship, we must be bonded. It enables us to share thoughts and feelings, just like in the meld, but we need not be touching each other to do so.”

 _*Uh-oh!*_ Kirk thought. “Does that mean you’ll always know what I’m thinking?”

“Only if you choose to share your thoughts with me. I shall teach you to erect mental shields to give yourself some privacy.” Spock hugged him fondly.

“But even if my thoughts are shielded, you’ll still be able to get past those shields anytime you want to, right? Because you put them up.”

“True, I am a more experienced telepath than you, and capable of penetrating your shields with ease whenever I want to. But why would I want to?” Spock regarded him with affection as he sensed the human’s uneasiness. “Possessing the ability to do something does not mean that one is obliged to do it. The mere fact that I am a more experienced telepath than you does not give me the right to invade your privacy mentally, any more than my being physically stronger than you gives me the right to force myself upon you.”

“Chris thought it did,” Kirk muttered.

“I am not Chris,” Spock reminded him. “I am Spock bar’as Sarek, who loves you. I have sworn that I will never compel you to do anything against your will. Neither shall I compel you to bond with me. If you wish our relationship to remain on the purely physical level for now, I shall comply. When you are ready, we shall bond.”

Kirk relaxed a little when he heard that. Spock couldn’t be trying to entrap him if he was willing to wait until Kirk was ready to legitimize their relationship. “Thanks, Spock,” he said, relief and gratitude evident in his voice. “I don’t really understand this bonding business yet and it kind of scares me.”

“I understand. Humans are often frightened by the unknown. My mother told me she felt the same way on the day of her bonding with my father.”

Kirk said “What?” and sat up in bed, staring down at Spock in astonishment. “Spock, was your mother human?”

“Yes, she was and is.”

“Then that means you’re half human! Why didn’t you tell me?”

“You didn’t ask. Besides, you would have found out soon enough when I presented you to my parents on Vulcan.”

“Does anybody else on board know about you being half human?”

“Sardo does, but he has orders never to mention it. I suspect Doctor McCoy knows as well, if he took the trouble to study my blood chemistry after giving me the required physical upon my arrival. No one else on this ship knows my true parentage, any more than they do my rank.”

Kirk studied his solemn lover with equal seriousness. “Would you lose face with the other Vulcans if they knew you were half human?”

“That is a distinct possibility.”

“It’s okay. I won’t tell anybody.” Kirk lay down beside him, stroking the fine, black hair back from one elegant pointed ear. “It’ll be our secret.”

Spock wrapped an arm around him and pulled him close. “I look forward to having you meet my mother. She gets lonely sometimes for the company of other humans. But before we can be bonded, you must be ritually cleansed.”

“Cleansed? What for?”

“Of blood guilt, for killing Christopher Pike.”

Kirk sat up again, flinging Spock’s arm off. “Why should I be cleansed for killing him?” he demanded. “The bastard deserved it!”

“But Jim, Vulcan law states that killing any person, except on the battlefield, stains one with blood guilt. One must be cleansed of this guilt before one can take vows, whether of bonding, or holy orders, or simply giving testimony in court. One who is stained with blood guilt cannot swear truthfully. And one cannot knowingly take another person’s life without staining one’s soul with blood guilt.”

“Well, I can! I feel no guilt, do you understand? No guilt!” Kirk declared, a little too loudly. “He deserved to die!”

“I agree he deserved death,” Spock said soothingly, trying to placate his angry lover. “But even justifiable homicide leaves a stain on the soul. You must be cleansed of this stain before we can be bonded.”

“What about you?” Kirk demanded. “You conspired his death with me, don’t you have to be cleansed too?”

“I only provided you with the instrument of his death. The decision to use it was yours and yours alone. You chose to use it. Therefore,” Spock concluded, logical as always, “the blood guilt is yours alone. Pike’s blood is on your soul, even though it is no longer on your hands.”

“It was on your hands too!” Kirk reminded him. “You washed the blood off my hands afterwards! Isn’t that enough?”

“I wish it were, Jim.” Spock regarded him with pity. “I would have gladly slain him for you, and taken the blood guilt on my own soul, had you permitted me to challenge him as I wanted to. But you insisted upon killing him yourself, to protect me from danger. Now you must atone for taking his life before the gods, if you wish to take vows with me.”

“I don’t believe in your gods, why should I follow your rituals?” Kirk snapped.

“Because I ask you to,” Spock said patiently. “Because I love you. Because I want no one to speak ill of you once we are joined beneath my father’s roof. If I am to break my engagement to the woman I have been betrothed to since I was seven years old, then my Chosen One must be a person of honor, above reproach.”

Kirk recoiled at the mention of his betrothed. “You were engaged to be married at seven?!?”

“It is traditional,” Spock told him, weariness creeping into his voice. “The only way I can avoid marrying her now is to announce my intention to bond with you. But we cannot be bonded unless you are blood cleansed.”

“But I didn’t do anything wrong!” Kirk insisted. “Even you admit he deserved death!”

Spock sighed. “Jim, this stubbornness of yours grows tiresome.”

“Look who’s talking! When are you going to get it through your head that I don’t want to be blood cleansed because I don’t need to be?”

“You may think you don’t, but the laws and customs of my father’s people say you do.”

“You’re half human! What about the laws and customs of your mother’s people?”

Spock sighed again, closing his eyes as he tried to reason with him without yielding to the same illogical emotion that was making Jim so unpleasantly strident. “He who chooses the Vulcan way of life must be Vulcan in all ways. I make allowances for the fact that you are human and easily upset-”

“How generous of you!” Kirk said sarcastically.

Spock ignored him and went on, keeping his eyes shut so he wouldn’t glare at him. “But the laws of my father’s people cannot be waived for an outworlder, even one who aspires to bond with a Vulcan. For the sake of your honor, Jim, and the honor of my house, I must insist that you let yourself be cleansed of blood guilt.”

When he opened his eyes, he saw his beloved human glaring at him amid the rumpled covers. “No!” was all he said.

“Jim, please...” Spock sat up and reached for him.

“I said no!” Kirk jumped out of bed before Spock could embrace him. With his back to the bed, he said sullenly, “I think you’d better leave now, Spock. This discussion has already lasted too long.”

“Jim!” Spock called to him imploringly as the naked human headed toward the bathroom. “Jim, don’t go! Can’t we discuss this logically? Jim, please!”

“Open up,” Kirk ordered the bathroom door curtly. Scotty had reprogrammed it to open only to his voice. It did so now and he stepped inside, letting the closing door cut off the sound of his lover’s pitiful voice.

With a heavy heart, Spock put his clothes back on and left the captain’s cabin.

********

When Spock returned to his cabin the following evening, he found a gift from the captain, a beautiful jeweled dagger, along with an apologetic note inviting him to dinner in the captain’s cabin. When he got there, he found Kirk as loving as ever, eager to make amends for his behavior of last night. He even allowed Spock to be dominant when they made love after dinner, emitting loud cries of pleasure as he was taken. But afterwards, when Spock brought up the subject of bonding, Kirk became upset and threatened to throw him out of bed if he didn’t shut up.

Spock soon learned that the price of admission into Kirk’s bed was never to mention bonding, or blood guilt, or the need to be cleansed. Kirk refused to admit that his killing of Pike was as wrong as Pike’s mistreatment of him, even though one was the direct cause of the other. Spock tried to make him see that this killing, which was meant to bring them together, was instead driving them apart. But Kirk’s only response was a stubborn silence and a refusal to mate or mindmeld with him. Spock couldn’t bear to be estranged from him for too long; he hungered for him mentally as well as physically. McCoy had been right when he said that Vulcans required a mental as well as a physical bond with their partners. But he had been wrong when he assumed, as so many humans did, that Vulcans used this bond to control their partners. It was meant to encourage fidelity by making it easier for mates to communicate without words.

As time went by and Kirk continued to insist that their relationship remain upon the physical level, Spock began to feel trapped. He could neither leave Kirk nor persuade him to be cleansed so that they could bond. He still loved the human, but was beginning to doubt if Kirk felt the same way.

He confronted Kirk one evening after a successful raid, when the captain invited him to his cabin to share a choice vintage wine that had been looted from the governor’s mansion. “Jim, we can’t go on like this,” Spock declared. “We have been lovers for 2.5 years and we are still unbonded. My Time of Mating will soon be upon me, when I must take a mate or die. If you will not allow yourself to be cleansed of blood guilt so that we may bond, then I will have no choice but to marry the woman I am betrothed to.”

“No!” Kirk slammed the bottle down so hard some of the wine sloshed out of the crystal goblets onto the tablecloth, staining it like blood. “She can’t have you! You belong to me!”

“Then make me yours!” Spock told him fiercely. “All you have to do is let the priestess of T’Vet cleanse you of blood guilt in a brief ritual. We can be bonded afterwards. No one need witness the cleansing ritual but you and I. And the priestess, of course. But you cannot take vows with me unless you are free of blood guilt.”

“I feel no guilt, so I have nothing to be cleansed of! Stop nagging me already!”

Spock sighed, closing his eyes to hide the pain he felt. “Jim,” he said softly, “your constant insistence that you feel no guilt over Pike’s death seems to be to be only a shield for the way you really feel about me.”

“You know how I feel about you. You’re my friend and lover, my brother in arms, my _T’hy’la_.” Kirk hugged him passionately as he spoke. “We don’t need a ceremony to make us any closer. It won’t change the way I feel about you, or the way you feel about me. Nothing can come between us, nothing!”

“Something has,” Spock insisted. He pulled away from him far enough to look into his eyes. “Lately you have been avoiding me, particularly at night or when we find ourselves off-duty at the same time. When I try to engage you in conversation, you seem inattentive, preoccupied. When I express my desire to be intimate with you, you either change the subject or tell me you are too tired. Or your battle scars still ache and need further regeneration. Or you have some paperwork to catch up on. Anything to avoid being alone with me.”

“I don’t know what you mean,” Kirk said awkwardly, finding it hard to meet his dark-eyed lover’s look of reproach. “I know I’ve been busy lately, but I promise I’ll make it up to you as soon as possible. I don’t mean to neglect you, I just have a lot of things on my mind.”

“Such as?” Spock waited, but got no reply. Kirk squirmed inwardly as he wondered whether or not to confide in him about the Tantulus Device, which he had recently installed in his cabin after discovering it on another planet they had conquered. It had it possible for him to eliminate his enemies at a distance. Now he no longer needed the Vulcan’s protection. But he still longed for his love, even though he was afraid to bond with him.

The seed of suspicion planted by McCoy’s ignorant words had borne bitter fruit. It marred Kirk’s trust in the only person he could trust, made him fear that once they were bonded, Spock would dominate him more completely than Chris had. Lately he had been avoiding having sex with Spock because he was afraid of what the Vulcan would find out when they mind melded at the moment of climax. He didn’t want Spock to know that, deep down inside, he did feel guilty for killing Chris. In spite of all the pain and suffering Chris had caused him, despite the relief he had felt when he finally saw him lying dead, even amid the joy he found in Spock’s embrace, a shadow of sorrow covered his heart over having to kill the one he loved.

 _*I know he was a drunk, a sadist, and an all around SOB, but damn it, I loved him! I loved him for ten years! Why did he have to make me kill him? And why can’t I forget him?*_ In his heart, Kirk feared that Spock would never forgive him if he found out how much he still cared for Chris. In his heart, he never forgave himself for killing him. So he used the blood cleansing ritual as an excuse for not sanctifying the love between him and Spock. As long as they were not bonded, Spock would never know how guilty he felt about Chris, or how unworthy he felt to be his bondmate.

“You will not share your thoughts with me?” Spock said, continuing to look steadily into his lover’s eyes. He could see Kirk’s uneasiness reflected in their depths, sense his discomfort over something he was reluctant to share. It saddened Spock to think of how they had drifted apart within the last 2.5 years; unbonded mates who did not mindmeld regularly usually became estranged. If only they could mate and meld the way they used to, then all the barriers would drop and he would know for sure if Kirk really loved him. But he could not force a mindmeld on him, any more than he could force himself upon him. He had promised him that he would never do anything that Pike did. He was as trapped by his promises as he was by his love for the human. Tied to him by words, by desires, yet not by the mental bond he craved.

“I will share my thoughts with you, then,” Spock told him, “though you may be loath to hear them. I can no longer live this way, making love to you, yet never touching you completely. You give generously of your body, but you will not share your mind. Now it seems as if I cannot touch your body or your mind. Since you cannot give me what I need, my only logical recourse is to return to Vulcan when my time comes, and go through with my prearranged marriage to T’Pring.”

“No, you can’t! I won’t let you!” Kirk’s grip tightened on his arms. “I love you, you know I do! Just because I won’t go through some alien ritual I don’t believe in doesn’t mean I love you any less!”

“If you truly loved me, you wouldn’t allow anything to come between us, as you promised me the day we mindmelded in Sickbay. This ‘alien ritual’ you refer to is a part of my Vulcan heritage, as much a part of me as my Vulcan blood. So is bonding with your Chosen One, and joining minds and bodies with that one. Why do you fear my customs, Jim? There is much about your race that I do not understand, but I have learned to accept its customs for your sake. Will you not do the same for me?”

Kirk couldn’t meet his eyes. He felt so ashamed, remembering the promises he made the first time they mindmelded and how he had broken them. In addition to the secret of the Tantulus Device, he’d also recently begun an affair with another officer, a young lieutenant in the Science Department named Marlena Moreau. It was so much safer making love to her, no need to worry about her reading his thoughts or trying to control him mentally. He feared Spock wouldn’t understand this fear of his, any more than he would understand his lingering love for Chris, and the guilt he felt for killing him. But if he didn’t bond with Spock soon, he’d lose him. How could he keep Spock without losing his own free will? He held him close as he tried to convince him not to marry T’Pring.

“Please, Spock, stay with me. We don’t really need to bond, you know I love you. I’ll do anything for you, give you anything you want or need, but don’t ask me to go through with this cleansing ritual. That’s like admitting that I was wrong to kill Chris. And I don’t believe I did anything wrong.”

“If your conscience is clear, why do you protest so much?” Spock studied his troubled face as he held him lovingly. “This is not really about Chris Pike, is it? You are hiding something else from me, something you are afraid you might reveal in the mindmeld when we make love.”

“No, no, I’m not!” Kirk started to sweat in his arms. Spock could feel his uneasiness through their link, weak as it was, being only of the flesh. But it was enough to convince him that something was wrong.

“If you have nothing to hide, then join minds with me now,” Spock urged him. “Let me share your thoughts as I used to when our love began.” He started to press his fingers against the meld points in Kirk’s cheek, only to feel him recoil.

“No!” He jerked his head away, giving Spock a wild-eyed look, his tawny hair falling into his eyes like a spooked colt. “You promised me you wouldn’t force yourself on me, physically or mentally!”

“Do not fear, Jim. I shall not force you,” Spock assured him gently. _*I do not have to,*_ he thought as he pulled him closer. _*All I have to do is keep on holding you close like this, until your emotions give you away. I can sense guilt in you over something. I just have to guess what it is.*_

So he held him close and lowered his psychic shields, allowing every emotion on the surface of Kirk’s conscious mind to wash over him. He felt love and desire, mixed with guilt and shame, anxiety over something he wished to keep hidden, yet longed to share with his beloved. The longer he held him, the stronger Kirk’s emotions became, until finally Spock received a brief but strong mental impression-a fleeting glimpse from Kirk’s subconscious mind-of Kirk lying in bed with someone. Not himself, or Christopher Pike, someone younger, female-

Spock shoved him away and stared at him angrily. “You have been with another!” he said accusingly. “You have betrayed me!”

“No!” Kirk denied it instantly, but his eyes gave him away.

“Do not lie to me, James!” Spock only called him by his proper given name when he was extremely angry with him. “I do not need to mindmeld with you to know what you are thinking! Your guilt is so strong, it leaves indelible impressions on the surface of your mind, like fingerprints at the scene of a crime. I know you have been with another. A female of your own species. One of my lab assistants.” He was so angry, he nearly choked on his words. “Well, you are welcome to her, and she to you! I should have known better than to expect fidelity from one such as you. You yourself warned me that one who would betray one lover would betray another. But then, I never really was your lover, was I? I was merely a means to an end. You used me to help you get rid of Captain Pike.”

“No, no!” Kirk protested. “I didn’t use you! You know I really cared!”

“You used me,” Spock repeated as he regarded him coldly, his face set like a stone. “You lured me with your body, led me on with your promises, then as soon as Pike was gone, you no longer needed me. You simply used me for your pleasure until you could find an accommodating female. Why didn’t I see your true colors the night after we mated for the first time? Your refusal to be blood cleansed, your constant insistence that we did not need to be bonded to be lovers-”

“Spock, please listen to me!” Kirk begged, feeling as if his heart would break. “I didn’t use you to help me kill Chris! I loved you then and I love you now! That girl means nothing to me!”

“Then why did you lie with her?” Spock demanded. “Because she asks nothing of you but your body? The prestige of being the captain’s woman? She’ll learn soon enough how precarious that position is. As precarious as being the captain’s favorite. I bid you good night, sir.” Spock turned and headed for the door.

“Spock, don’t go! Please let me explain!”

“I wish to hear no more lies from you, James. From now on, you may address me only in the line of duty. And my quarters are off limits to you.” Spock paused before the door and looked back at him, anger smoldering in his dark eyes. “Speak to me no more of love, if you wish to remain on cordial terms with me. Man without honor, without courage!” He punched the “door open” button so hard, he left a dent in the wall. The door whooshed open and he was gone, leaving Kirk with a broken heart.

********

Word spread quickly that Spock no longer enjoyed the captain’s favor. His enemies waited eagerly to see him demoted, but were disappointed. He remained first officer and science officer; he simply ceased to visit the captain’s cabin at night. That was now Lieutenant Moreau’s privilege. She gave herself airs and was very smug at having displaced the captain’s favorite. Spock made certain that his work schedule and hers never coincided, further disappointing his enemies, who were hoping to witness an ugly scene between them. He won the approval of the other Vulcans for casting aside his faithless lover, as well as the sympathy of his and Kirk’s mutual human friends. All but Doctor McCoy, that is, who made no secret of how relieved he was that Jim had finally come to his senses and kicked “that damned Vulcan” out of his bed. Spock saw him gloating every time they passed each other in the ship’s corridors. Behind his impassive Vulcan mask, Spock nursed a grudge against McCoy, whom he blamed for having poisoned Kirk’s mind against him. He believed the doctor to be responsible for having soured their relationship, and vowed suitable retribution against the bigoted human at the first opportunity.

Kirk threw himself into his work to forget his grief, becoming the most brutal and conniving captain in the fleet. He soon surpassed Christopher Pike in cruelty, particularly against leaders of unallied planets who dared to defy him. Ship’s discipline was never tighter, especially when the captain’s enemies began to disappear without a trace. He remained fanatically loyal to his friends, though. Even Spock. One day, as Kirk and the landing party were preparing to beam down to Halkan, Ensign Chekov was foolish enough to address the first officer insolently, thinking it safe to insult him now that he no longer enjoyed the captain’s favor. Captain Kirk overheard the remark, went over to Chekov and backhanded him across the mouth. He then snatched the Agonizer from Chekov’s sash and applied it to the loose-lipped ensign’s belly, keeping it pressed there until Chekov collapsed screaming at his feet.

“Watch your mouth, mister!” Kirk warned him. “Or next time I’ll press it a little lower! You will address Mr. Spock with proper respect from now on, is that clear?”

“Yes, sir!” Chekov whimpered, still holding his stomach with both hands.

Kirk left him lying in a heap and joined the rest of the landing party in the transporter chamber. McCoy started toward Chekov to assist him, but the captain curtly ordered him back. “Stay put, Bones, he’ll live. We have to get down to Halkan before that ion storm gets any worse and try to convince those people to fork over the dilithium crystals.” As McCoy reluctantly resumed his place on the platform, the captain met his first officer’s eyes, telling him without words that he still loved him.

Spock returned the captain’s gaze impassively. He didn’t know what to make of Kirk’s violent demonstration of loyalty. Was it prompted by love or guilt? Until he knew for sure, he dared not give Kirk any hope of reviving their relationship. “Are you ready to beam down, Captain?” was all he said.

“Yes, Mr. Spock.” Kirk smiled at him sadly, adding, “Take good care of my ship while I’m gone.”

“It will still be here upon your return, sir,” Spock assured him without a trace of humor. Turning to the transporter officer, he gave him the order. “Energize, Mr. Kyle.”

Captain Kirk of the I.S.S. ENTERPRISE beamed down to Halkan with Lieutenant Uhura, Doctor McCoy and Chief Engineer Scott to keep their date with destiny...

(From here on, it becomes a sequel!)

PART FOUR

When his captain beamed back on board after his sojourn in the alternate universe, Spock’s relief was so palpable you could almost see it on his bearded face. Lieutenant Moreau was at the first officer’s side by the transporter console, still worrying about what her status on the ship would be with Kirk or Spock as captain. While she was considering her options, the landing party materialized.

“Welcome back, sir,” Spock greeted his captain. “I hope you are none the worse for your experience.”

“It’s good to be back, Spock,” Kirk said as he hopped off the transporter platform. “What’s been happening while I was gone? I hope that other Kirk didn’t jeopardize our mission.” He didn’t even notice Marlena standing off to one side.

“That other Scott had better not have mucked up me engines,” Scott grumbled.

“Rest assured, Mr. Scott,” Spock told him, “the only alterations to your engines were the minimum needed to transport you back here.” Addressing Kirk again he said, “Sir, we don’t have much time. Let me brief you on the situation as we ride up to the bridge. Doctor McCoy, you will find Sulu unconscious in Sickbay. Please send him to the brig after you have treated him. While you were all gone, he attempted to kill both me and the captain so he could seize power.”

“Sulu in the brig? Well, that’s one change for the better!” McCoy commented.

“You will have him executed, won’t you, sir?” Uhura asked Kirk hopefully.

“Of course,” Kirk told her with a smile. “I’ll even let you watch.”

“Oh, thank you, Jim!” Uhura sighed. “I’ve dreamed of it for so long!”

“Bloodthirsty lass, isn’t she?” Scott said fondly.

“Yeah, my kind of woman.” Kirk playfully jiggled one of Uhura’s long, dangling earrings, causing Marlena a moment’s jealousy, wondering if he had switched his affections yet again. “Get your little black fanny up to the bridge with us, Nyota. Scotty, see to your engines. Bones, get that trash out of your Sickbay.”

They went their separate ways, leaving Marlena standing in the transporter room, still wondering which side of the fence she should be on.

As Kirk, Spock and Uhura headed for the turbo lift, Kirk asked Spock, “Have the Halkans given in yet?”

“Not yet. But I have a plan which I believe will guarantee their capitulation, without having to expend valuable phaser power slaughtering unarmed civilians.”

“You don’t say?” Kirk didn’t dare risk showing any more interest than that. Ever since Pike had beaten him for showing mercy to the governor’s elderly father on Daedalus, he’d been careful never to reveal his hidden streak of compassion. Before he and Spock became estranged, he had depended on Spock to always find him a good, logical reason to spare the civilian population of a planet while still getting what they wanted from the local government. Since they parted, he’d been forced to carry out Starfleet’s orders mercilessly. But it seemed as if his Vulcan was coming through for him again on this occasion.

“Yes, I think you will find it very effective.” Spock politely allowed the captain and the lieutenant to precede him onto the lift. As they rode up to the bridge, Spock explained his plan.

When they got to the bridge, Kirk found Lieutenant Kyle keeping the command chair warm for him. “Good evening, Mr. Kyle,” Kirk greeted him politely; he made a point of always being nice to Kyle, on account of their both having suffered at Pike’s hands. “Would you mind taking the helm now? I’m afraid Mr. Sulu is indisposed.”

“Yes, sir.” Kyle moved to the helm while Kirk took the command chair.

“All right, Mr. Kyle,” Kirk told him, “fix phasers on the coordinates Mr. Spock will give you and lock on. Uhura, open the hailing frequency to the Halkan Council.”

When the leader of the Halkan Council appeared on screen, Kirk said to him, “Time’s up. Have you decided to cooperate?”

“No, Captain,” the Halkan said, gently but firmly. “We will never give you our dilithium.”

“Who said anything about giving it to us?” Kirk gave him his most charming smile. “We’re willing to let you trade us your dilithium in return for a more precious commodity.”

“And what is that?”

“Food.”

“You are mistaken, Captain. We have plenty of food.”

“Not for long.” Kirk said to Kyle, “Have you got those coordinates from Spock yet?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Phasers locked on target?”

“Locked on, sir.”

“Then fire at will, Mr. Kyle.” Kirk sat back in his chair with his legs crossed while Kyle proceeded to open fire on the designated targets.

“Captain, what are you doing?” the Halkan demanded.

Kirk grinned as he explained. “As a demonstration of Starfleet’s power, as well as the mercy of the Terran Empire, we have targeted your food supply for destruction instead of your cities. Every single food crop on your world’s surface is being destroyed.” The Halkans were vegetarians, so most of the planet’s surface was dedicated to farming. “After we’ve finished destroying your fields, we’ll demolish your grain silos, food storage warehouses, and every known market where food is sold. When we’re through, you’ll have no food left except what you currently have in your own homes.”

“But our people will starve to death!”

“Let them eat dilithium crystals,” Kirk suggested.

The Halkan leader sighed; his gentle face sagged in defeat. “Very well, Captain Kirk. You have won. We will trade you our dilithium in return for a year’s supply of food.”

********

In the captain’s cabin afterward, Kirk sat at his desk sipping Venusian Nectar. Admiral Buchinski himself was on his comm screen, giving him a personal commendation from Starfleet, which Kirk was savoring along with the wine.

“Thanks to you, Kirk, we not only have a new source of dilithium and cheap local labor to mine it with, but a new military installation on a strategically based planet, where the native population is too timid to oppose us.”

“These people are as timid as sheep, sir,” Kirk agreed. “That’s what gave me the idea of destroying the food supply instead of the cities. Having grown up on a farm, I remembered that sheep can only be butchered once, but sheared over and over again.”

“Very profitably, too!” Buchinski laughed. “Brilliant, Kirk, absolutely brilliant! You should make admiral yourself before too long. Tell me, why didn’t you make your intentions known to us before we sent Spock orders to kill you and take over?”

“I’m afraid I was a bit preoccupied, sir, with a little power struggle going on behind my back. I had my hands full discovering who the conspirators were and rooting them out. Besides, I thought it would look better if I reported a _fait accompli_ , rather than wait to see how the Empire would react to such a radically different way of dealing with an uncooperative planet.”

Buchinski laughed again. “You mean you wanted to make sure your idea would work before you took credit for it! I gotta hand it to you, Kirk, you take a lot of risks, but you always manage to land on your feet somehow.”

Kirk accepted the admiral’s compliment without once mentioning the fact that destroying the Halkans’ food supply had been Spock’s idea, not his. After the admiral had signed off, Kirk refilled his glass and decided to celebrate. He looked around for Marlena, taking it for granted that she would be there as always. When he realized she wasn’t, he paged her commbadge. The ship’s computer responded; its synthetic masculine voice said, “The person you are attempting to reach is no longer on board. Lieutenant Marlena Moreau has been granted emergency compassionate leave and has returned to Earth.”

“Who authorized Lieutenant Moreau’s leave?” Kirk demanded.

“First Officer Spock.”

Right on cue, the door buzzer sounded. Kirk slapped off the comm link and snapped, “Who is it?”

“Spock,” came the reply.

“Come in!” Kirk ordered. Spock did so. As the door closed behind him, he stood there looking at Kirk innocently. Kirk wasn’t fooled. “I understand I have you to thank for the sudden departure of Lieutenant Moreau?”

“The young lady was having personal problems. She believed she would be better off on Earth until she was reassigned to another ship. I agreed, and granted her emergency compassionate leave. She left on the supply shuttle from Starbase 9.”

“A Vulcan admitting to compassion? Spock, how you’ve changed!” Kirk said sarcastically.

“Living among humans does have that effect on one,” Spock commented, looking him right in the eye as he added, “So does loving a human.”

Kirk blushed with shame, but tried to pass it off as anger. “So you finally found a way to get rid of her without staining your precious honor with blood guilt!”

“I am to be bonded soon,” Spock reminded him, “and cannot take sacred vows with such a stain on my honor.”

Kirk felt a pang of despair. “So you’re still going through with your marriage?”

“I have no choice, since the one I would rather bond with is still stained with blood guilt. To say nothing of infidelity.”

Kirk swallowed his anger and his pride. “Okay, Spock, I deserved that,” he said quietly. Rising from his desk, he went over to Spock and offered him the two-fingered Vulcan Ritual Embrace. “As a friend, may I offer you my congratulations on your approaching nuptials?”

Spock nodded and touched his fingers to Kirk’s, keeping his psychic shields up so the human wouldn’t be able to see or sense his thoughts. Kirk felt the barrier between them and it saddened him. Not wanting Spock to leave too soon, he added, “I also want to thank you for figuring out a way to get the dilithium and spare the Halkans. I just finished speaking to Admiral Buchinski. He thinks it was my idea.”

“You did not enlighten him?”

“No, because you said you didn’t want any credit. But I’m grateful to you anyway.” Studying his former lover’s solemn face, Kirk blurted out, “Spock, why didn’t you take the credit for forcing the Halkans’ surrender? If you had, you surely would have replaced me as captain.”

“I have stated repeatedly that I have no desire for command. The ENTERPRISE is your ship, Jim. You alone must command her.”

“I can’t do it alone, Spock,” Kirk said, looking at him longingly. “I need you by my side.”

“I am your first officer, so it is logical that I should always be at your side.”

“That’s not what I meant, Spock.”

Spock closed his eyes and sighed. “You say you are grateful to me. If you wish to express your gratitude in a more tangible form-”

“Yes! Anything, Spock! Whatever you want!” Kirk told him eagerly.

Spock opened his eyes and looked at him steadily. “You know what I want, Jim,” he said calmly.

The unmistakable note of passion in his deep voice, reflected in his dark eyes, frightened Kirk with its intensity. With a nervous smile, he managed to say, “Is that all? You know you can have that any time you want, Spock. All you have to do is ask.” He came closer and put his arms around Spock’s neck, lifting his face up for a kiss.

To his surprise, Spock didn’t kiss him or embrace him in return. He just stood there looking down at him, desire plain to see in his smoldering eyes, but difficult to hear in his cool, calm voice. “If you want me to continue supporting you as captain, you must give me a good reason. I see no reason to go on supporting a captain who professes deep regard for me in private, while doing nothing to demonstrate this regard publicly.”

“You still want me to bond with you.” Now it was Kirk’s turn to sigh. “Spock, you know why I can’t do that.”

“Your counterpart would have done so. He was an honorable man, with no blood guilt staining his soul. He would have bonded with me gladly, and I with him, had he not been compelled to return to his own world.”

“How do you know he would have? Did you mindmeld with him?” Kirk demanded jealously.

Spock smiled enigmatically. “He was a most fascinating man, that other Jim Kirk. Loyal, honest, dedicated to his duty and his friends. Capable of deep devotion to his lover. Everything that you are not, Jim.” He never said he melded with the other Kirk, which would have been lying. But he had gotten a very good impression of his character from the meld he had forced on the alternate McCoy, after regaining consciousness in Sickbay. That, and the alternate Kirk’s final words to him in the transporter room, was enough to convince him that he would have been better off keeping that Kirk and letting this one remain in that other universe. But his love for his own Jim Kirk wouldn’t allow him to accept a substitute. So he used the possibility of what might have been to taunt his unfaithful lover, playing on his jealousy and insecurity in order to attain his goal. “He was even brave enough to question the Empire’s policy. He urged me to summon the future and work towards the Empire’s downfall. Had he stayed, he would have helped me toward that goal. As my bondmate. He would have had the courage to acknowledge me publicly as well. But you don’t even have the courage to admit you did wrong when you slew one man who loved you for the love of another.”

“You made me do it!” Kirk yelled in his face. He tightened his grip around Spock’s neck. “I never would have done it if you hadn’t made me! You seduced me, put ideas into my head with that mindmeld, made me want you so much I had to put Chris out of the way so I could have you!”

Spock found it hard to breathe with Kirk’s hands squeezing his throat, but managed to say, “I put no ideas into your head that weren’t there to begin with. You wanted to kill him long before I came along, but you didn’t have the courage to do so until I persuaded you.”

“You mean brainwashed me! You made me kill Chris! Admit it, Spock! Admit it!” Kirk was so enraged, he was squeezing Spock’s neck hard enough to make him see green. Gasping for breath, Spock reluctantly used his superior strength to break the human’s hold. Seizing Kirk’s wrists, he pried his hands off his throat and held him at arm’s length.

“Do you really believe I used the mindmeld to make you kill Pike? Is that why you will not bond with me? Because you fear I will control you mentally?”

“You made me do it!” Kirk insisted loudly. “I never would have killed him if not for you!”

“Jim, has it ever occurred to you that you were influenced as much by Pike’s treatment of you as by my mental persuasion?” Spock reasoned with him gently. “I admit seducing you mentally, because honor forbids making physical overtures to the lover of another, while that other still lives. But if you had resisted me long enough, had you been able to persuade me that you loved him too much to ever do him harm, I would have left you alone. I would never have forced you to do anything against your will, even before I promised you never to do so.”

Kirk gawked at him unbelievingly. “You mean you didn’t make me kill Chris just so you could command the ship through me?”

“Jim, if I wanted to command the ENTERPRISE, I would have slain both you and Pike. I wanted to kill him because he was mistreating you. But all I wanted to do with you was love you.”

The link between them let Kirk know he was speaking the truth; Spock had lowered his shields while he was speaking to make sure he knew. Kirk was so ashamed of misjudging Spock, he said, “Let me go!” and tore his wrists out of the Vulcan’s grasp. As he stood there rubbing his wrists to restore the circulation, (Spock saw with regret that he had left bruises where he grasped him), Kirk confessed. “The real reason I wouldn’t bond with you is because I thought you wanted to control me. Bones told me that Vulcans required a permanent mental bond with their mates, that it would enable you to read my mind and put thoughts into my head, so you would be the real captain of the ENTERPRISE in all but name.”

“The good doctor is misinformed. The nature of a Vulcan bonding is to insure that there be nothing but truth between bondmates. There have been cases of a strong mind dominating a weaker one, but only when the bonding was forced. I was tempted to force a bonding on you in that first meld,” Spock admitted, wanting to be as honest with Kirk as Kirk was with him, “but such an act would have made me no better than Pike. The only difference between physical and mental rape is that the latter leaves scars on your mind. Your heart was already scarred by Pike’s beatings. I did not wish to add to your psychic injuries.”

Kirk had wandered over to his bed while Spock was speaking and sat down upon it. He was still so ashamed, he couldn’t look at him. “We could have been bonded years ago if I had only told you what Bones said and asked for an explanation. You’ve never lied to me about anything else, why would you lie about bonding? It’s my fault you’re leaving me, my own damn fault. I kept secrets from you, I mistrusted you, and I slept with somebody else. I don’t deserve to be your bondmate.” He stuck his head under the pillow and pulled out the little dagger Spock had given him. He pulled it from the sheath, saying, “You once told me that certain kinds of dishonor can only be washed away with blood.”

“Jim, what are you doing?” Spock asked in alarm.

“Cleansing the stain from my honor.” Kirk held the razor-sharp dagger’s edge to his left wrist.

“No!” Spock made it across the room in what appeared to be a single bound, but not before Kirk had slashed his wrist. Spock seized the hand holding the blade and forced it away from his bleeding wrist. “What have you done?” Spock groaned. “Would you die of shame?”

“I’m not going to die. See, it’s not a deep cut.” Kirk showed him how he had merely nicked his wrist enough to draw blood. “Now you have to do the same,” he explained to the puzzled Vulcan. “Then we press our wrists together so we can mix our blood. It’s customary among humans, when you swear blood brotherhood.”

Spock regained his composure quickly. “A barbaric human custom. But if it makes you happy, I will comply.” He used the little dagger to make a cut in his left wrist, then sat beside him and placed his forearm over Kirk’s so that the wounds were touching. “As if I didn’t already have enough human blood in my veins,” he commented, making Kirk laugh.

Afterwards, when the wounds had been bandaged, Spock asked him, “Now that I have complied with your custom, will you be willing to comply with mine?”

“Yes, Spock, I will let myself be blood cleansed so that we can be bonded. But only because I love you too much to lose you again.”

“You have never lost me. I loved you even when we parted over that woman. Now that I know we are to be bonded, I love you even more.” This time he kissed the beautiful face that was turned up to his. Kirk held him tight and was gratified to feel himself held tightly in return. Soon he felt himself being pushed gently backwards until the backs of his knees hit the bed. He let himself be pressed down onto its soft surface, where he felt himself covered by a feverishly warm body. Moaning happily, he wrapped his arms and legs around Spock the way he used to. Spock responded by stroking the side of Kirk’s face, his way of asking permission to meld with him.

Kirk stopped kissing him long enough to say, “Yes, love.” He sighed as he felt the sensitive fingertips pressing against his cheek. He opened his mind so Spock could see all his thoughts, everything he had kept hidden from him for fear of rejection or abandonment.

 _*I already know about the Tantalus Device,*_ Spock informed him silently. _*Your counterpart discovered it while Lieutenant Moreau was entertaining him in this cabin. He offered it to me as a means of helping to overthrow the Empire.*_

_*Are you really going to do it? Start a revolution against the Empire?*_

_*I certainly intend to try. Will you join me? Once we are bonded, I will never be able to betray you. We can guard one another’s backs the way bondmates are supposed to. And I shall never do you harm, nor allow another to harm you.*_

_*Yes, count me in! I know I can trust you now. I was afraid to before, but only because our mental rapport had grown so weak.*_

_*That is what happens when you do not mindmeld regularly with your Chosen One. I shall take care that such a thing does not happen again.*_ After that, the only thing on Spock’s mind was how much he loved him and how he longed to show it. The showing took most of the night. Kirk finally called a halt to the proceedings near dawn, because of exhaustion. They spent what was left of the night in each other’s arms.

By noon the whole ship knew they were back together. Not many people knew what had happened to Marlena Moreau; most of them assumed the captain had gotten tired of her and she had simply disappeared, the way so many of the captain’s enemies did. Not wanting to share her fate, they asked no questions.

********

The next time the ENTERPRISE was in orbit over Vulcan, Kirk and Spock beamed down together so that Spock could present his Chosen One to his parents. Sarek was none too pleased by the news that his only son wished to set aside his prearranged marriage to form a warrior’s bond with his captain. But his wife Amanda saw the political advantages in having a human son-in-law with powerful connections in Starfleet and the Terran Empire. She soon talked him around, and Sarek gave his grudging consent to their bonding. Spock’s intended bride, having already formed a clandestine attachment to another Vulcan named Stonn, was only too willing to dissolve the bond between her and Spock, freeing her to marry her own Chosen One.

The day before they bonded, Spock accompanied Kirk to the shrine of T’Vet, Vulcan’s tutelary deity, so that he could be blood cleansed. Spock waited outside while Kirk was escorted into the sanctuary by the high priestess. There she asked him the usual questions: “Was thy victim a stranger, a friend or a relative? Was there bad blood between thee? What wrong had he done thee? Did thee slay him openly, either in battle or on the field of honor? Did thee slay him privately, with or without witnesses? Did he leave a wife or young ones, elderly parents or other dependents? Art thou willing to admit thy guilt before the goddess and be cleansed of his blood, for thy Chosen One’s sake?”

After he answered the questions, they descended into a torch lit cavern beneath the sanctuary, where they found the ritual pool and a set of carved stone steps leading down into it. Kirk went behind a screen, undressed and entered the pool. The high priestess watched as he swam out beneath the screen and into the middle of the pool, where he submersed himself three times in the warm salt water. When he came up for the third time, she left a towel and long, white linen robe for him on the bench by the pool and waited outside while he climbed out using the stone steps, dried and dressed himself.

When they emerged from the sanctuary, the high priestess declared him cleansed and solemnly informed Spock that his Chosen One was now free to bond with him. Spock thanked her and gave her a jeweled ring as his Chosen One’s blood price in payment for the cleansing. After sending Sardo inside to retrieve Kirk’s clothing, they went back to Spock’s parents’ house in the capital city of Shi’Kharr. Kirk had to wear the white penitent’s robe for twenty-four hours and spend the night alone, which he didn’t care for. Spock made it up to him the following evening, after they were hand fasted in the family parlor in a private ceremony before Sarek and Amanda.

As they lay together in Spock’s room in the wee hours of the morning, Kirk asked him, “Would you really have bonded with that other Kirk if I hadn’t come back?”

“No, Jim,” Spock told him tenderly. “I could never have bonded with him. Because I love you too much to ever accept a substitute, no matter how similar. And because he was already bonded to his own Spock, back in his world.”

“I already knew that,” Kirk confessed with a sheepish grin. “It was what tipped me off that we were in a parallel universe. The moment we were alone together, that Spock took me in his arms and kissed me as if we had never been apart. When I shoved him away, he said, ‘Has that rough beam up affected your memory? One would think we had never been intimate before.’”

Spock smiled as he asked, “What did you say to him?”

“I almost said, ‘You’re right, we haven’t been!’ Instead I told him I had a headache.”

“Really, Jim,” his Spock reproached him affectionately. “Couldn’t you have been more original?”

“Hey, I was doing the best I could, under very difficult circumstances. But it didn’t take him long to see through me, and before I knew it, we all wound up in the brig. I thought the whole universe had gone crazy. I was never so glad to feel the transporter beam lock onto me and pull me out of there. Or to see your bearded face again, you old pirate.” Kirk caressed his bondmate’s hairy features. Spock hugged him tightly in return. As he rolled him over on his back so they could make love again, Kirk asked him, “When do we make our move against the Empire?”

“As soon as we have sounded out the crew and decided who can be trusted to follow us. Anybody we have suspicions of must be disposed of, either by transferring them or via the Tantalus Device.”

Kirk smiled. “I just had a thought. Why not start a rebel base on Halkan? Those poor bastards are so timid, nobody would ever suspect them of harboring traitors in their midst.”

“Indeed,” Spock mused. “And if we teach them to fight, it will help them liberate themselves from the yoke of the Empire sooner.”

“It’s the least we can do for them, after forcing them into it in the first place.”

“We saved their lives, Jim,” Spock reminded him. “That was the most important thing. Now if they wish to survive as a race, they must put aside their pacifist ways and learn to fight.”

“Let’s hope they’re quick learners.” He reached up and pulled Spock’s head down for a kiss. “Now, are we gonna lie here all night discussing strategy? Or are we gonna make love?”

Spock answered him with a kiss, which soon led to passionate stroking on both sides. A playful struggle for dominance ensured, as they wrestled back and forth across the bed the way they used to in the ship’s gym before their estrangement. Spock allowed him to get the upper hand, because he secretly enjoyed watching Kirk sitting on top of him, gloating as he held Spock’s shoulders down with surprisingly strong hands. “You take unfair advantage of the fact that I do not wish to hurt you,” Spock told him. “That is why you won so easily.”

“Oh, really?” Kirk grinned. “I thought it was because I had worn you out.”

“Not likely,” Spock murmured, feeling his cock hardening again beneath the pressure of his bondmate’s naked ass pressing against it. “In fact, I believe you will soon have your hands full.”

“That’s not what I wanted to fill.” He slid down the length of Spock’s body until he was able to spread his legs on either side of Spock’s legs. Keeping his own legs clamped tightly together, he crouched down until he was able to take the rapidly hardening green organ into his mouth.

Finding himself pinned down and at his bondmate’s mercy, Spock made no protest. He just lay there and enjoyed it, moaning softly as Kirk’s skilled sucking brought him to the verge of orgasm. When he felt himself ready to explode, he sat up suddenly, throwing Kirk off easily. Guessing what he had in mind, Kirk put up a fight until he was easily overpowered. As he lay beneath Spock face down, feeling the powerful body pressing into his back and the immense erection pressing against his butt, he felt a moment’s panic as he remembered being in this same position too many times with Chris.

“Spock,” he pleaded, “please try not to hurt me too much.”

Touched by his bondmate’s words, which were a poignant reminder of their first time together, Spock relaxed his hold and got up on his elbows and knees to ease the pressure on Kirk. “Have no fear, _T’hy’la_ ,” he said soothingly. “I shall not hurt you. Nor will I ever permit anyone else to hurt you. That is what a warrior’s bond is for.” He kissed the back of Kirk’s neck and stroked the beautiful buttocks beneath him until he felt Kirk’s body relax. Then, after a lavish application of scented oil, he entered him slowly, pressing into him inch by inch as Kirk made soft sounds of pleasure, mixed with little cries of joy. When they were one, they lay there savoring it for a while, Kirk sobbing with relief to be feeling pleasure instead of pain.

Their link flared open spontaneously as Kirk opened his mind as wide as his body to welcome him. _*I love you, Spock. Don’t ever leave me again.*_

 _*Never, my love,*_ Spock promised him as he began to fuck him slowly. He picked up speed as Kirk egged him on with loud cries, urging him to do it harder and faster. Eternity was compressed into the space of a few seconds as they both achieved orgasm; Kirk came first, spilling his seed into the sweat-dampened sheet beneath him, his cry of pleasure triggering Spock’s climax. He slammed into him repeatedly, grunting like an animal as he emptied himself into the willing body beneath him.

Afterwards, they lay side by side watching the red sun rise over the L-Langon Mountains from the window across the room, as Kirk recited an old Terran poem. “‘Red sky at night, sailor’s delight. Red sky at morning, sailors take warning.’” He stroked Spock’s belly and smiled. “The Empire had better take warning. We’re about to change history.”

“Hopefully for the better.” Spock’s sleepy eyes were full of contentment. “I am glad you are with me in this venture. It would have been lonely summoning the future without you.”

“Can’t let you summon the future without me. I want to be part of it too. As long as it includes you.” He rolled over and snuggled up to Spock, who wrapped his arms around him. They fell asleep dreaming of a future together.

THE END


End file.
